Good morning! You're waking up to a world in which a man "wanted out" of his marriage since 1975 because he didn't like his wife's nipples. And, you know, if had he seen them before he'd married her, he never would've married her. In fact, he would've divorced her straight away after seeing them, except she was pregnant.

OK. So let's look at the plus sides, 'cause there's precious few to go on. He managed to impregnated her despite the reported disfigurement, that's something. In fact, they had three children together. Also, he was willing to marry her based on never seeing her nipples, so there had to be more of her to go on... In fact, when they got married - in 1972 - he didn't see the offending nipples for a further 2 years.

According to the Canberra Times, said man claimed in his affidavit: "The person I lived with before our marriage was a fake, an illusion. I did not see her breasts, until late 1974 [when] I discovered [she] had a physical disfigurement. If I had seen them before I would not have married her. Our marriage was doomed. If she had not been pregnant I would have sought a divorce in 1975. As far as I was concerned, I wanted out in '75... I stayed in that marriage beyond 1975 because I considered myself a responsible father who wanted to look after my children."

Needless to say, Presiding judge Warwick Neville declared the man to be "self-absorbed" and pointed out the obvious - that the state of someone's nipples isn't cause for divorce. He added the man has "a very cavalier, if not a misleading and remarkably nonchalant, bordering on an immaturely irresponsible, approach... to the marital relationship. There was a patent level of bitterness or resentfulness towards the wife that coloured his view of the world generally and his evidence in particular."

Judge Neville concluded with: "And as I have observed, he continued to have children with the woman he considered to have deceived him in relation to some form of breast disfigurement, which he said was a signal element of the marriage."

Life's mad. Here's a man with such perfectly formed nipples that anything else is comparably deformed. If it was such an issue, he could've offered his wife his. It's not as if he was actually using them himself.

In related news, the ex-husband probably used this story as motivation.

Via BroBible