That, after receiving deserved negative feedback regarding comments made in a Playboy article, John Mayer broke down during a gig saying: "I quit the media game. I'm out. I'm done. I just want to play my guitar"... He might want to shove a spare one sideways into his yap trap just to be on the safe side... That Kate Moss has designed a handbag "that allows wearers to carry two alcoholic beverages at once" ... Talking to Vogue about her invention, Kate said: "This one is great for Glastonbury - you can hold two drinks and put it over your shoulder, it's perfect!"... Like a shoulder bag... That Vernon Kay has been getting death threats over his textcapades: "The crazed fan described Strictly Come Dancing host Tess, 40, as a 'national treasure' and added 'You hurt her and you will be killed'... That Ortise and Marvin of JLS got it on with Vanessa and Rochelle ofThe Saturdays at Aston's birthday party ast night... That Robert Pattinson said of a photo shoot with a load of naked models: "I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina. It was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to them. Thank God I was hungover"... Of falling in love, he said: "The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, it's ridiculous"... That teenage girls love a challenge, Robert... That Paris Hilton attempted to promote a new beer in Rio by not being photographed without a can of it for 48 hours straight... That she even managed to hang on to her stubby while on all fours, showing off her thong, at the beer's launch party... I tried to have a gander at video footage of her making a show of herself on The Sun Online, but instead got a lengthy commercial for the beer itself, the name of which won't be mentioned here for I feel taken advantage of... That CharlotteChurch is still being handed TV shows by Channel 4... Thankfully, however, she's ditched the "chat show" format: "Charlotte had a lot of fun doing it, but wasn't particularly comfortable with the chat ('cause she was rubbish at it. Even more rubbish than Lily Allen). We'll record a pilot next week and plan to air in the New Year"... This new show will see Church pair "with two Welsh comics" to "take the Mickey out of the week's news"... That Alec Baldwin is finding the pressure of presenting the Oscars a bit on the heavy side: "While leaving Lenox Hill Hospital in New York after being checked out for a suicide attempt, Alec Baldwin snapped and attacked a photographer because he believed Kim Basinger sent him. NY Daily News reports: 'This guy! This guy!' the actor yelled as he burst out of a lobby and grabbed New York Post photographer Tim Wiencis by the collar. Cops immediately pulled the actor off Wiencis and hustled him back inside. A witness said Baldwin was pacing around the lobby muttering: 'They are the lowest scum of the Earth. They are the lowest scum of the Earth'"... That Florence Welch and Dizzee Rascal are going to put on a "wild" show at tomorrow's BRIT Awards.... They're doing a "mash up" of "You've Got The Love and Dirtee Cash, a kind of '90s extravaganza"... Said extravaganza will end with the audience being showered with money emblazoned with the singers' faces... That Ronnie Wood and Ekaterina Ivanova have spent the night together: "Ronnie looked pretty nervous when he showed up at the flat. He was looking around and had to wait quite a while for her to open the door. But Katia was obviously very pleased to see him. It makes you wonder how serious their split really was"... That they engaged in "evil goblin king" sex with added Ugg boots... That Heidi Montag said: "My favourite part, I think one of them is my chin. I think that's what I was so excited about. And I love my boobs but I still want them to improve... I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted"... That she also might want her mouth stitched up... Speaking of which, Danny Dyer took time out of his busy schedule to say this of NicolaRoberts: "She looks like a proper little ghetto bird, and I love that because I'm a ghetto nut myself. She looks a bit grubby and that. I like that. She needs a f**king good scrub, that girl. I'd like to give her a nice scrub. That's it, though, I'd just scrub her and then f**k her off"... That Kevin Smith was deemed too fat to fly by an American airline... He has, of course, been Twittering about the matter: "I'm way fat, but I'm not there just yet. I broke no regulation. Wanna tell me I'm too wide for the sky? Totally cool, but fair warning folks: If you look like me, you may be ejected from Southwest Air"... Smith had taken to his seat before being asked to leave by the captain... That Amy Adams said: "I once dated a guy who thought I was really stupid and I kept dating him because I was fascinated by him"... Who's the stupid one again?... That Tiger Woods impregnated porn star Joslyn 'Big Breasted Nurses'James twice "while his wife too was pregnant"... Tiger did the gentlemanly thing and paid for both abortions... That James Thornton, who plays John Barton in Emmerdale (the farmer who's very upset about all his lambs dying) was knocked down while he was walking with his wife in London... His wife just happens to be Joanna Page, of Gavin and Stacey fame... The soap's producers don't know when the actor will be able to return to the show...
