That Charlie Sheen will serve time for attacking his wife at Christmas: "The Two And A Half Men actor, due in court next week, has done a plea deal in which he agreed to a 'misdemeanour' to head off more serious assault charges. Lawyers for Sheen, 44, aimed for a short stretch so he can film a new series of the telly hit in August. Wife Brooke Mueller claimed he held a knife to her throat on Christmas Day in Aspen, Colorado"... Since this news broke, TMZ has photographed Charlie having a blast in Disneyland... That Lindsay Lohan has been allowed drugs after getting her wisdom teeth out. Before we start rolling our eyes, tutting 'Man, the lengths people will go to get a buzz', this is what her rep had to say: "We advised the Probation Department of the dental appointment, which was made well in advance of last week's court hearing... whatever sedative Lindsay got in the oral surgeon's office, and whatever she's taking for the pain, won't count on the drug test"... That no amount of pain killers will take the edge off her masochistic streak; herself and her swollen face went to see Sex and the City 2 in some cinema in LA last night... That, of her upcoming role in which she portrays Linda Lovelace, the New York Post reports: "She's made to say terrible things about herself while in the middle of sex acts. After her boyfriend assaults her, he kisses her bruises and asks, 'Does this feel good?'... It's very sensational. There are not so much plot devices as shock tactics (funny that)... The movie's obviously designed to just outright disturb [with] the combination of childhood imagery and absolute outright depraved perversions"... Seemingly, at one point, her character is forced into a gang-rape scenario with several businessmen - one of whom hums a tune from Mary Poppins while fondling her breast"... I'm going to dispose of my niece's copy of The Parent Trap as of immediately... They'll have Mily Cyrus playing the part of a frustrated fluffer next... That, of being papped, Kirsten Stewart said: "It's so... The photos are so... I feel like I'm looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can't handle it. It's f**ked. I never expected that this would be my life"... So, the whole fame thing is going well, then... That Rupert Grint said: "I'd been at my mate's house, we'd been asleep, then there was alcohol involved and we went out. A graveyard really isn't the nicest place to wake up!"... That Deirdre Barlow will get it on with Lewis in Corrie... The Sun reports: "Lewis - played by Don't Wait Up actor Nigel Havers makes a play for Deirdre at her stepson Peter's betting shop. She can't resist and they enjoy a steamy snog. But her husband Ken's son Peter (Chris Gascoyne) sees the CCTV footage - and shows his dad... He is furious with Deirdre (Anne Kirkbride) calling her 'pathetic'"... Pot and kettle... Audrey will be most upset, especially since we last heard herself and Lewis were planning on movie to some Greek island... That Pink has given pictures of her and husband to tour crew... That Sandra Bullock will attend MTV Movie Awards... That Leona Lewis fell down lift shaft...That Victoria Beckham only eats fruit at photoshoots, shocker... That Kate Moss is moving out of north London home... That Khloe Kardashian has denied she's pregnant; That Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore lingerie to her Transfomers audition, you know, to showcase her acting skills... That you may, or may not, have noticed we have a new Showbiz Bites page in Gossip with little, non-opinion based snippets of news... That if you fancy trying your hand and presenting, have a hawk at Jenny's Music News regarding Muzu TV... It's been a while since I've posted a gallery with pretty people in clothes, so here's two - one from Givenchy (who are celebrating an exhibition closing, for once... needless to say, lots of serious people in black turned up - like Alan Rickman, Miranda Richardson, Courtney Love, Liv Tyler, Michael Stipe, Patti Smith, Christina Ricci, and some angry bird in her bra... There were also some beautiful people in transparent white, Bjork managed to wear flip flops despite the presence of tights, and there was also a Mr. T enthusiast in attendance); the other is from the 2010 Crystal and Lucy Awards (starts here), with Courtney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Jude Apatow in yer da's gankiest suit, Julie Benz, Busy Phillips, Zoe Saldana, Rachel Griffiths, Vanessa Hudgens (who Cox all but forced into a threesome), Deborah Messing...
