Sharon Osbourne, who's pushing 60 and should therefore behave with a modicum of decorum and maturity, is still flinging verbal faeces regarding her departure from the X Factor - a rant which, bizarrely, embarked by taking a pop at Simon Cowell's Britain's Got Talent.

"They're queuing up now to get on - what's that show called - We've Got No F***ing Talent At All. It's like a revolving door for t**ts... Listen, I actually walked from X Factor because I couldn't stand the bulls**t anymore. I was getting well paid - very well paid - so it was hard to leave, but I did because they didn't like me speaking the truth (like they do in America... on Simon Cowell's America's Got Talent). They'd rather have some doll like Dannii Minogue as judge, endorsing this bulls**t. Dannii - I couldn't stand her. She wasn't so much a dim bulb as a bulb in a power cut. F***ing useless."

And she should know given her offspring collectively provide less purpose than a directionless dung beetle *waits patiently for postman to deliver poo-filled package*