Guess Whoooooo.....?

"Um, hiii there *returns wave sheepishly*. Sorry, but do I know you? Have we met before? Jeez, I hate when this happens, it's so embarrassing. You're there, waving at me, I know I've seen your face around but I haven't the foggiest who you are... eeeeeeeep."

Maybe it's perfectly clear to most who this is, but I have to admit it took a few beats for this face to register. The first fleeting thought was "Jackie Stallone is looking slightly better than usual", followed by "Is there a Batman related play on in the West End in which The Joker has a sister?" Then: "That's such a familiar face... I'm sure I've seen it hundreds of times before, on TV shows about bad face jobbies." Finally, it clicked: "Christ, will Leslie Ash not just leave herself alone?!"

In the last few years, she's been employed by This Morning and The One Show to highlight the unregulated use of cosmetic fillers and the dangers of Botox. This may be presumptuous, but I've an inkling she might be spending some of that £5million she received, for contracting an MRSA type bug while in hospital, on yet more facial tweaking.

Leslie has been through the mill and back during the last couple of years, what with being landed into hospital after breaking her ribs and puncturing a lung (she fell off the bed during a particularly rigorous sex session with the hubby back in 2004), and then getting the superbug, which left her paralysed from the waist down. Thankfully it wasn't permanent and she managed to teach herself how to walk again, but isn't that all the more reason to leave the bits of you that are functioning alone? Or is her face just stuck like that after she suffered that allergic reaction to collagen implants in 2003? Either way, her mush is still behaving badly. Quite the advertisement for growing old the way nature intended.

These pictures were taken yesterday, after she appeared on Loose Women to talk about her "TV comeback on Holby City". It's her first acting job in five years. Because of the whole unable to walk thing. Not the unable to convey emotions thing.