There is a God. Sorry, but their sketch show was rubbish and I resent Gavin and Stacey 'cause they stole my love story and made loads of money out of it before I had the chance to. Indeed, that's completely unreasonable on my behalf, but that's just the way it is.

According to The Sun: "They have already shelved plans to make a second series of their panned sketch show Horne & Corden (*air punches*) And the pair, both 31, have not been seen together for months, with each pursuing separate TV and acting plans. One pal said: 'They were being billed as the next Morecambe and Wise, and that sort of thing. It went to their heads. While their success was on the rise they slowly started irritating each other to the point where now they don't speak. They used to be in touch all the time, like best pals are. But they never go out together and just do their own things. They seem sick to death of each other - well Mat certainly seems to be fed up of James'."

Now there's a surprise. And it's not just due to the fact that James resembles several cackling hyenas in a suit holding up a mugshot of an instantly irritating head - it's because he's got more work on.

"James is working on a sports panel show for Sky 1 and is filming for Sport Relief. He is also being lined up to front a major BBC1 World Cup Show. Last night James insisted that he and Mat were still pals, saying: "We are incredibly close mates and I love him dearly.'"

Whereas a spokeswoman for Mat felt the need to say: "Mathew is an extremely busy actor. He was before the Horne & Corden series and continues to be so. Both actors have their own respective workloads and projects, as they always have had."

What Shakespeare wrote about the lady protesting too much, and so on.