That Peaches Geldof is "inconsolable" after being dropped as Miss Ultimo... To recap, after claims by some American artist that he'd shared a romp with Geldof after hoofing a load of heroin out of it, and then posting nude photos of her in bed on the internet, head of Ultimo Michelle Mone said: "As a brand that targets young women, we feel it is impossible for Peaches to continue"... That Heather Mills is currently enjoying an employment tribunal thanks to one Sara Trumble, who was in her employment around 2006... Trumble is suing Mills on the grounds of sexual discrimination (something about her post as babysitter being downgraded to cleaner after she went on maternity leave): "she said their relationship soured after Sara returned from six months' maternity leave after having a baby girl of her own. While still on leave in 2007, she said she was summoned to Mills' house to record a video interview. Sara said: 'I was asked to tell them how wonderful I thought Heather was. I felt I'd no option.' Again with Sara still on leave, Mills allegedly called her and angrily asked when she would be back at work. Sara said: 'It was a really horrible, rude message, and it reduced me to tears'"... That's post natal hormones for you... That Katy Perry said of Russell Brand: "I'm not that obsessed with plans. But if we stop for breakfast, he has to stop and get Bride magazine. It gets a little crazy"... That Eileen Grimshaw off Corrie (AKA Susan Cleaver) was done for drink driving... Greater Manchester Police said: "A woman has been charged after officers stopped a Land Rover Freelander on Palatine Road, Northenden, shortly after 12.40am on Monday March 29, 2010. Susan Cleaver, of The Circuit, Didsbury, was charged with driving with excess alcohol and is due to appear at Manchester City Magistrates' Court on April 14, 2010"... That means she'll grace the court two days before her onscreen son, Jason Grimshaw (AKA Ryan Thomas), attends the magistrates also for motoring offences (last October, he failed to stop after he crashed into another car, oh, and failed to report it to the police)... That Bianca Jackson/Butcher's (AKA Patsy Palmer) brother has been done for robbing a jewellers: "Albert Harris, 42, had targeted a shop in Clifton, Bristol, where he snatched £23,000 worth of goods after threatening two female workers with a knife... In a 2008 interview, he explained that he had been jailed more than ten times after turning to crime to feed a heroin addiction"... That Kelly Osbourne said of "surprising" her fiancé: "I hadn't seen him for six weeks because he's been working in the UK and I've been working in Los Angeles. His agent told him to go to a hotel for a modelling job, but when he got there I opened the door - he was shocked!"... I bet... That Mischa Barton's off the wagon again... She "rolled into Bar Marmont on Saturday alone and looking totally out of it. A few minutes after she comes in, she runs outside and vomits everywhere. And then she went back inside and hung out for the rest of the night"... That the Augusta outlet of Hooters is hosting a golf-themed bikini competition to coincide with Tiger Woods's appearance at The Masters next week... That I would like to express my condolences to the likes of Mark Kermode, Mariella Frostrup, Cosmo Landesman and all other serious film lovers who possibly went for Jonathan Ross's recently vacated BBC1 Film post... Of inexplicably landing the job, Davina McCall's emaciated, gibbering, rapidly blinking, wild-haired cousin gurned: "I've loved film for as long as I can remember and I go to the cinema three times a week. I even live next door to an Odeon. When we were buying the house the estate agent said, 'The down side is you might hear the Pearl & Dean advertising music blaring out at night'. That sealed the deal for me. I was like, 'Where do I sign?'... I've bored BBC executives for ten years about my love of film. Every time I walk into a meeting of late I've asked people to debate Avatar with me... I watch anything. My favourite films are It's A Wonderful Life, ET and Goodfellas... it will be a different show, I'll still be keeping the desk and taking things seriously"... Eat your heart out, Barry Norman...

 


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