Jonathan Ross
is slowly turning ITV into the BBC. Bloody mawvellous.

Speaking to the Radio Times of his new film venture, which is due to air on ITV from April onwards, said: "The BBC film show is fine, it's a lovely show but it's always been what it is - reviews, talking about movies (and now it's Claudia Blinkleman asking people who actually know about movies what they think about movies - much like Mairead Farrell on RTE's The Movie Show (Thursdays, 9pm, RTE2). While we're talking about The Movie Show, can someone please clarify Eoghan McDermott's role for me? Apart from his ability to make me audibly cringe whenever he's on screen. But I digress. Back to Wossy.)

"We're doing stuff that is a bit bigger; we're opening it up a bit more. We'll do these stunts. In the pilot we had Ross Noble with a dialogue coach trying to do a scene from Jaws."

Noble is presumably on the show to talk about his lead role in Stitches. Apologies, have to reference The Movie Show again. Why didn't anyone point out that Stitches is a unashamed rip off of Psychoville's Mr. Jolly? Let's face it, there was ample opportunity, what with Mairead, Nordy Eoghan, Shoehorned Eoghan, Daniella Moyles and Noble himself all talking about the film at various points. It's not Moyles' fault, she probably got her opening gambit with Ross was written for her by the programme's 'script writer' (they do have one, his name is Declan somethingorother). At least Moyles' charm and sharp timing are all her own. Unlike someone else under contractual obligation...

OK, let's put it out there. Have Mairead host outright, with Nordy Eoghan reviewing and Daniella being the random roving reporter. There are faaar too many people; we've still got Angela Scanlon and one Rob Ross to appear yet. And McDermott wouldn't be without work; The Voice of Ireland is due back on our screens shortly...

Just sayin'.