... you know, to stuff in your ears to avoid most forms of sensory contact.

Picture the scene: John Bishop and Sheridan Smith starring in a comedy drama for ITV inspired by Bishop's time working in panto. Hang on, there's more, and some might call it the "icing": it’s co-written by the bloke who wrote Gimme, Gimme, Gimme…

Before I set about dismantling my eyeballs, here are some words from John Bishop regarding his upcoming project with ITV, via Chortle.co.uk:

"In 2006 I left my job; that Christmas I appeared in a local panto. It was there I fell in love with that world and came up with the idea of a comedy drama, which has now evolved into Panto! To be making this six years later for ITV1 is really very exciting. The script I’ve written with Jonathan Harvey is something I’m immensely proud of, and the cast are all brilliant."

On the upside, it's being co-produced by Steve Coogan's Baby Cow, the team responsible for Moone Boy.

Panto! will be shown over Christmas, funnily enough.