Emmerdale: Don't they grow up fast. One week, they're just a mardy little munchkin, the next they're pilfering from the pub's till and getting drunk in school. Believe it or not, we're talking about wee Gabby. If you thought we were talking about Belle, well, she was busy tarting herself up to attract local teen psycho, Thomas. In other news, Alicia obviously had to play wedding planner for Priya and David, assuming they stay together after their 'moving in' teething issues. With Katie staying at Andy's, and then deciding to leave the village altogether, Declan was quick to accuse the burly one of ending his marriage, and - hold on to yisser dinners - Rachel admitted she has feelings for Sam. See, even Sam's a catch in the eyes of soapy ladies. But then things went bits up thanks to a rogue Valentine card.
EastEnders: Emmerdale wasn't the only neck of Soapland rife with problem children; Bianca got a right shock when the police turned up with Liam after a spell of truancy. She naturally tried to alleviate the situation by squawking like a derranged turkey before pinning her son up against a nearby wall. Masood seemed determined to get the house entirely to himself by pressing Tamwar about heading off to university; Kirsty and Roxy bonded over their hair extensions, resulting in the former getting her job back in the Vic; Michael continued to act weird around Alice; and the Kat and Alfie charade continued.
Coronation Street: Faye went for a hop during a cinema sojourn with Gary and Izzy (are you noticing a theme yet?) in a quest to see her father. Tim did the decent thing, returning her to Anna, but then he demanded visitation rights. Anna's willing to bend a bit, Owen not so much. How's that for a shocker. Great news; Jenna can't afford to pay her rent so she might move in with Lloyd. Which means we'll be seeing more of her and her sterling acting skills. Yaaay. And now to the story that just keeps on giving; Ches ignored Katy's pleas and delivered money to Tyrone and Fiz's hideout in Wales. Katy won't like that. In fact, she might just suddenly start an affair with Ryan she's that miffed. All of Chesney's work was in vain, however, as Fiz rang the police to hand themselves in. Elsewhere, Roy saw Syliva given the bum's rush out of a casino...
Fair City: In yet more evil child action this week, Ben played a Valentine's trick on his parents, leaving Jo and Dermot pretty much heartbroken. The scamp. Meanwhile, Judith - who's getting more action than the entire population of Carraigstown put together - was dangerously distracted by her love triangle, leading to a regrettable mistake at work. It's time to choose, oh horny one. Elsewhere, Wayne grew more suspicious, while Paul and Niamh wondered if Eddie has pulled a fast one on them, and the ghost-hunters make a startling discovery. You're still interested in the ghost-hunting storyline, surely.