A while back we learned that Superquinn would be taken over by Supervalu. Fear and dread spread across the nation (mostly in my house) as we jumped to the horrifying, presumptious conclusion that the world's greatest sausages, made by Superquinn, would cease to exist.

Now I'm a big sausage fan. You may take whatever immature sexual innuendo you want from that but I mean it quite literally; sausages. Meaty, salty sausages, I love them. Tesco dabble in luxury sausages (the obese apple ones are a particular delight) while other local sausage brands will be found boasting different qualities such as 'gluten free' and what have you. Then there are the brands of sausages that shrivel up like your dead granny's fingers on the grill. And all you have to do is take a look to the rest of the European continent where frankfurters, weiners and bratwurst are consumed at all times of the day, every day. But I fear that our European friends have yet to experience the ultimate sausage experience, courtesy of Superquinn.

A wave of relief washed over me when I discovered (after contacting Superquinn directly out of paranoia) that no harm would come to their super-sausages. They'd merely be sold in a shop by a different name, Supervalu. Today all Supervalu stores around the country welcome Superquinn's signature sausies onto their shelves, as people just like me (or maybe JUST me) sprint towards the nearest establishment to bulk buy said sausies as though a nuclear winter was upon us.

What makes these sausages so great? For one, they're fat but not too fat, they don't reduce down to a third of their original size once cooked, nor are they so chubby that it requires effort with which to eat them. They're juicy, so very juicy. They're plain; Superquinn doesn't need to jazz up their sausies with overpowering herbs or chunks of fruit/garlic/onion, their flavour speaks for itself. They're salty, you definitely don't need to add any of your own seasoning. They are the absolute perfect accompaniment to a mound of creamy mashed potato, I personally like to take one sausage, cut it in half and stick the two pieces face down in the mash, resembling a pair of eyes, while I then take a second sausage, uncut, and position it as a smiling mouth on the lower half of my mashed potato. Happy, simple, satisfying food. And yes, I'm 25 years old but who would turn down food with a face on it if it tastes this good?

I'm also partial to the plainest of sausie sambos. Are you ready for a masterclass in the ultimate sausie 'sambidge'? Take one piece of freshly bought batch loaf. Lather it in the butteriest of real Irish butters (none of your Flora shit here, right?), take one perfectly cooked sausage. Cut it in half (as even as possible if you're a bit OCD like me) and place said sausie halves on the bread. Apply criss cross of Heinz tomato ketchup atop your sausage delight. Here's the clincher: don't add another chunk of bread on top, this makes it too bready and you don't want to be arsing around with all those crusts; you want ease and tastiness and to be able to eat it with one hand. Fold the bread around the sausage like you would a chip butty. And voila, eat your sandwich as gastro-pleasure permeates your starving body. Rinse, and repeat.

  

All stores will stock the popular Superquinn sausage 12 pack, which will retail for €4. SuperValu expects additional sales of €2 million of the sausages in the first year.