We've all made terrible mistakes in our jobs throughout the years, but some are worse than others - which makes this Twitter thread all the more amusing.
By now, no doubt you've already read the top entry which involves an 18-year-old Irishman high on ketamine being stuck in a room with Mary McAleese (if not, read it here) - but there is a wealth of entertainment elsewhere on the thread, some of which we've highlighted below.
It all began when the b3ta Twitter account asked people about their worst work-related f**k-ups, and the results... well, you can see for yourself below. Prepare to cringe, laugh and howl.
We want to hear about your work related fuck-ups. Reply, quote tweet, do your worst.
— b3ta (@b3ta) May 3, 2018
I ran two coffee jugs of cleaning acid through the coffee machines (it looked like water) and served a cup to the visiting area manager, on my first day at the Deep Pan Pizza Company in Purley.
— ThinkyThoughtHead (@mrstth) May 3, 2018
Was asked to make a really cheesy playlist for award winners at an annual do, but no one told me the actual winners. Cue the Islamic Society winning Campaigners of the Year to, "Do they know its Christmastime".
Just that bit, on repeat. Very long walk to the stage.
— Sarah Kerton (@sarkerton) May 3, 2018
1990s. Made a parody of the follow-up survey posted to our Restart course clients. Visually identical, but offensive. Someone went to my drawer rather than the document store…
150 forms went out with the final option of “No, I have remained unemployed like the lazy twat I am."
— Alan Phoenix-Bates (@sp3ccylad) May 3, 2018
During a night-shift I updated the grid on the Telegraph website crossword without updating the clues. The day-shift guys had to deal with all the angry emails. There were many.
— alanbenzie (@alanbenzie) May 3, 2018
A colleague asked me what to do with bunch of tricky invoices. I joked about deleting them and said I'd get back to him in a sec.
A year later, colleague already gone, a supplier calls they're missing money.
The invoices were all deleted from the system. Guess I shouldn't joke.— tiny birb is dreaming 'v' (@Cwossie) May 3, 2018
Work experience at ASDA pizza counter. All topping measured in a universal cup size. Sweet old woman ordered the 'hot' pizza. Shovelled on a cup of chillis and thought 'that looks a bit much'. Told later the chillis are measured in a cup a tenth of the size. Probably killed her.
— Tobby Watson (@chas_hodges) May 3, 2018
My friend who did WE on the ASDA bakery at the same time set a donut jam machine to fill a donut with 666 shots of jam rather than 6 as the button got stuck. Saw it pumping like mad and just went home. Stain remained on their floor for MONTHS.
— Tobby Watson (@chas_hodges) May 3, 2018
Worked as a GP receptionist. Had to update their smoking cessation data, which meant ringing registered patients to ask if they'd thought of quitting. Phoned Mr *Smith*, his wife answered. I asked if he could come to the phone, she said he was dead. I said "so not a smoker then?"
— Emily Burt (@EmilyPBurt) May 3, 2018
This series of shenanigans is mirrored in why I left teaching.
One wee eleven year old asked me how I was feeling after my aunt died and I said 'better than her' and she started crying.— a kind of unstable idiot (@CaitMcMillion) May 3, 2018
Accidentally pressed “correct all” instead of “cancel” when spellchecking a feature I’d written about a local businesswoman. The next day I got a call from her husband asking why The Birmingham Post had printed an article naming his wife “Natasha Psychopath”.
😳
— Joanna Geary âš¡ï¸? (@JoannaG) May 3, 2018
When I worked in a bank as a cashier I accidentally nudged the panic button in the cash drawer and within a split second the emergency metal shutters flew down, alarms went off and the police called, not to mention the queue of old dears who almost had a collective heart attack
— Alex (@alexandra_kuri) May 3, 2018
Someone once thought the comments field on an automated payments system wasn’t actually used for anything, until we had an enquiry from hundreds of contractors asking why our cheques had “oy oy saveloy!” printed on them.
— Simon (@intruth) May 3, 2018
Not me, but when working at Burger King, my friend (and colleague at the time) accidentally put mayonnaise instead of shake mix in the milkshake machine. We told no one and only had one or two complaints. Everyone else obviously loved their chocolate mayonnaise.
— Paul Thorpe (@bracestower) May 3, 2018
Working at small agency & our big client was Greenpeace. An email came in from supporter asking what we were going to do about saving the whales. Sent group email to office saying “the plan is to eat them - the white meat of the sea” And yes accidentally sent it to supporter...
— Rob Manuel (@robmanuel) May 3, 2018
As a young, newly qualified nurse I had to catheterise an 18 year old young man. He was obviously nervous. As I was about to begin he asked “Is it small?” I replied “I’ve seen smaller.” Turns out he was referring to the catheter 🤦ðŸ?¼â™€ï¸?
— Polly Gallagher (@Polly_Gall) May 3, 2018
Not me, but my favourite is a friend who worked at a gardening magazine. They ran a double spread of poisonous & safe-to-eat wild British mushrooms, but got the labels the wrong way around. All the poisonous ones marked as safe & vice versa☠�🤦♀�
— Alice Ralph (@alicaurusrex) May 3, 2018
In an invigilation training presentation, I cautioned against allowing exam candidates to "leave willy nilly" to avoid disruption. When the slide came up I realised I'd typed "large willy nilly".
— Virginia Chattaway (@VirginiaChatta1) May 3, 2018
