We're not sure to be impressed or scared by this list of the barred customers of the Half Moon in Herne Hill, London but we have to hand it to the staff there, they have a magnificent way with words.

The pub is famous for having hosted bands such as U2 and The Police in the past but was closed in 2013 due to severe flooding and now, as it reopens, owners are converting the music area into a dining and kitchen area, despite protests from fans and artists who have performed there. One such person, singer/songwriter Rumer, shared this list of the barred former customers and it is definitely something.

"Flat cap coke fiend barred for threatening regulars (and everything else)" is quite the definer. As is "Mickey Two Suits". And "Crazy Linda". They're all people we hope we never have the misfortune to meet.

Via Twitter