No. He's not started drinking again. Although, this does sound like it all started in a bar.
Right, so why's TV's Jack Bauer on Letterman in a green paisley frock? He lost a bet. Over to you, Keifer:
"I lost a bet, over the weekend I was so sure that the New England (Patriots) was going to win (against the Baltimore Ravens) that I told a guy who used to be my friend that if New England lost, I'd wear a dress on Letterman. So here I am... it's quite slimming."
Well, at least the friend purchased a guna that flatters a fellah's figure... Oh. Keifer bought it himself? Brilliant: "You should have seen me shopping for this thing today. I walked into a store and said, 'I'm shopping for a big gal, kind of my size, pretty broad in the chest. Do you mind if I try it on?' Then she just said: 'Take it'. I got kind of nervous. The guy who I made the bet with... this is the end of our friendship."
When Letterman offered him a grand to ride the Subway in his new ensemble, Keifer said: "I have to say, riding the subway would probably be easier than what I'm going through right now. This might be the most humiliating moment of my life and I've had a couple of them to choose from (being arrested and jailed for DUI... "Defending Brooke Shields's honour" by headbutting some gay designer at a black tie function... The Three Musketeers) Not looking really butch now, am I? I'd like to apologise to my mom and my dad... and any friends I have left out there..."
It wasn't so bad in the end, though. He got to show off quite a shapely pair of pins as well as his feminine side, which is always alluring. He also had the oppertunity to exhibit quite the eye for colour. OK, first glance it's "GOODLORDMYEYES!" but look a little closer. He's managed to tie in the colour of his dress with all the accents of the Letterman studio. See, it tones in perfectly with the chairs and the window frames, the cue cards scattered across the desk, the mic on the desk, Letterman's SOCKS! It also compliments his hair colouring, but it does wash him out a bit. And he should have really gone the whole hog and lost the vest thing. Although they say a lady should always retain an air of mystery.
