The Island

When he discovers that he's a non-human clone bred for the purpose of having his organs 'harvested' at some point in the future, Lincoln Six Echo (McGregor) makes a break for freedom from the biotech facility where he has been since he was 'born' three years previously. Helped by human engineer McCord (Buscemi) and accompanied by Jordan Two Delta (Johansson), Lincoln emerges into the real world determined to reveal the extent of the brutally inhuman existence of his fellow clones at the hands of the facility's head, Merrick (Sean Bean). An initially promising blend of classic (and not-so-classic) sci-fi movies such as Logan's Run, The Running Man, Gattaca and Blade Runner, The Island is ultimately empty, soulless and disappointing; for all its slick technological hardware, The Island is at heart an old-fashioned chase movie. And who better to squeeze the maximum of car chases and explosions from a minimum of story than Michael Bay (Armageddon, Pearl Harbour)? No one, unfortunately. Pushing to one side the intriguing story bubbling under the glossy surface (the moral ramifications of cloning sentient beings), Bay lets loose with every jolting-camera trick he knows (all two of them) and pursues his heroes relentlessly until they - and we - are fit to drop from exhaustion. There's a smidgeon of humour when Lincoln Six Echo meets his human alter-ego Tom (McGregor playing up to his public persona), but otherwise this represents a brain and bum-numbing FX extravaganza.