Triggermen

One of the dubious treats of being a film reviewer, it is said, is going to see a movie which can surpass even your most negative expectations. And any movie which bills itself as 'a comedic thriller in the style of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Pulp Fiction' and features a starring role from Neil Morrissey should really be approached with nothing less than extreme caution. And even then that's probably affording 'Triggermen' too much respect.

This distressingly inane story follows two small time crooks, Pete (Morrissey) and his mate Andy (Dunbar), who are stuck in Chicago without a clue. One case of mistaken identity later and the cheeky chappies are in possession of a briefcase full of wonga and the keys to a swish hotel room. This being a comedy/caper/mob movie, it's inevitable that the lads have to be mistaken for hitmen by a crime boss (Di Bianco), intent on starting a turf war. More nonsense comes in the shape of the two real hit men Terry and Tommy (Wahlberg and Rapaport), also staying in the same hotel and awaiting their instructions. And if any more complication was needed, it is thrown up when Terry falls for Emma (Forlani) whose father is - oh yes! - the hit men's real target (Postlethwaite)

A film moored in more narrative conveniences than a season's worth of 'EastEnders', 'Triggermen' is one of those hopeless juvenile, depressingly formulaic Brit comedies which owes its very existence to Guy Ritchie. A stuttering mess, the film never does anything particularly interesting with its second-hand premise and there's no sense of conviction about it. The best that can be said for the acting? Stick to the B'n'Q ads, Morrissey.