Tooth

'Tooth' is a rather slight family comedy about the eponymous, wildly precocious Fairy and the sort of youngster who makes a decade's worth of Billie Barry Kids graduates look shy and retiring in comparison. Sick of the bureaucratic regime and lack of real magic that she has to put up with at willowy HQ, Fairytopia, Tooth decides to give six-year-old Tolly Wallit (Preston) a rake of cash which bankrupts the entire state. After being told that the world of kids will despise her for all eternity unless she retrieves the wonga, Tooth visits a hard up and slightly bizarre family. Yet, unbeknownst to her, a nasty security specialist and part-time fairy hunter, Plug (Enfield) is determined to nail the fairy, and will stop at nothing to get his wish.

When Harry Enfield, porking it up like the guest of honour at a bacon convention, is the best thing about a movie, you know you're in very dangerous territory. And though one would suspect that 28 year old men are not the targeted demographic, the absence of real joy and humour from a movie is a universal concept. Given this rejection of staples (humour, excitement) and a plot that moves with all the elegance of a drunken student on the pull, there's little here to attract even the most undemanding of audiences. And yes kids, that means you.