The Three Musketeers (2011)
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Logan Lerman, Matthew MacFadyen, Milla Jovovich, Orlando Bloom, Ray Stevenson
Details: France/USA/Germany/UK/109mins 12A
Based on the novel by Alexandre Dumas, Logan Lerman is D'Artagnan, a skilled, but cocky youngster in 18th Century France, looking to do some good and cause some trouble. After arriving to Paris and inadvertently impressing The Three Musketeers, he becomes embroiled in a plot to dethrone the pompous, but sweet King. Somehow, Orlando Bloom is involved as a smug English bloke, in cahoots with Christoph Waltz's Cardinal Richelieu and Milla Jovovich's cunning De Winter.
Paul W.S. Anderson actually started out as a solid action director. Mortal Kombat was drivel, but it was fun drivel and is probably still one of the best computer game adaptations (granted that's a low bar). He followed that up with the unsettling Event Horizon, then seemingly became an awful director overnight. Resident Evil was dull, Death Race worse and his last instalment in the 'Resident' series utterly shite. At least he's become consistent, because this is just as bad as his last several films.
On the plus side the three musketeers are fun enough; Evans, Macfadyen and Stevenson deserved more screen time - being that they're the titular characters an all. Instead, Anderson gives us his missus, Milla Jovovich, a bunch of scenes where she gets to look "cool" and attempts to "act". She does neither very well. Speaking of which, Logan Lerman looks and sounds like he hit up regional France by way of The OC - it is ridiculous casting. I'm not saying give the guy a French accent, but surely D'Artagnan shouldn't look like he should be holding a skateboard?
This story was much more fun when all of the main characters were dogs.
Review by Mike Sheridan
Your Comments
PaulieB
Event Horizon is the best horror movie ever made, perfect filmmaking, stunning movie, no movie ever had anywhere near the effect EH had on me the first time i watched it, incredible movie, i'm a huge fan, it's high in my top 20 movies. The first 2 Resident Evil movies are also stunning, fantastic kick ass gory fun. The next 2 RE movies are beyond awful, horrific movies, although the first 10 minutes of the 4th is spectacular, a whole movie of just that would have rocked my world to no end. Mortal Kombat is terrific, AVP is quite the letdown, but when compared to Alien 3, it becomes a classic, and AVP2 more than made up for 1, awesome movie. To be honest, this movie doesn't look great either, the trailer makes an effort to sell it, and i LOVE Ray Stevenson just on the strength of Punisher: Warzone alone. Death Race, there are no words for me to describe how much i love that movie, but maybe this might help, some of the very few smart words my father ever spoke, after i loaned him my DVD... "Death Race is a real man's movie, it has everything fellas would love, all those wierd cars, madcap car chases and all them model type of girls that young fellas are into nowdays. And it's very bloody isn't it? Lots of gore! What real man wouldn't love it?". Paul WS Anderson has some pretty bad work under his belt, but a man who made Event Horizon alone deserves ultimate credit, i defy anyone to show me a greater horror movie.
Posted 30/09/2011 23:38:25
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - we've been here before regarding 'Event Horizon'. It really isn't as good a movie as you think. "i defy anyone to show me a greater horror movie." In no particular order: Ringu (1998), Alien, The Thing, Psycho, The Wicker Man (1973), Let The Right One In, The Exorcist, Vampyr (1932), An American Werewolf in London, Night of the Living Dead (1968), The Birds, Seven, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), and The Omen (1976). While you're *more* than entitled to your opinion, and favourites - the AFI, Rotten Tomatoes, Empire, and IMDb polls would ALL disagree with you.
Posted 08/10/2011 18:46:48
PaulieB
And i disagree with them all. Never head of Ringu but it sounds like Pingu, so that's out, Alien is good but Aliens beats the s**t out of it, The Thing is very good but stupid in it's own fun way, Psycho's run of the mill slasher flick, nothing special, Wicker Man is cursed so i'm never even watching that, Let The Right One In looks looks alright but again nothing overly special, The Exorcist is great but hilarious, Vampyr... from 1932? 1932? Only thing scary about 1932 is how old it is, bought American Werewolf In London online the other day, still waiting for it so i'll make judgment on that once i've seen it, Night Of The Living Dead is awful, although i remember the remake being decent, The Birds is has a few decent scenes but as a whole not a great movie, Seven is fantastic but i consider it more of a thriller than a horror, TCM is fantastic but still no dice, The Omen again is a great movie, but it's been done. No other horror movie has the edge, the style or the thrills of Event Horizon, it's a stunning movie, perfectly crafted and highly original. And following what others think is not the way forward.
Posted 09/10/2011 16:10:48
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - this month's edition of 'Total Film' has a feature on the best horror directors in cinema. Your friend Anderson is nowhere to be seen in the 40 directors mentioned. And if you're gonna reject a classic horror flick like 'Ringu' because of a rhyme with Pingu; 'Wicker Man' due to silly superstition; and 'Vampyr' due to its age - then there's simply no talking to you...
Posted 09/10/2011 16:23:31
PaulieB
Actually i was just laughing at your need to say Ringu as opposed to just calling it The Ring as we all know it. Haven't seen the original, i own a copy of the remake and i think it's a terrific movie, but again, nowhere in any way near EH. As for Wicker Man, seen the Nic Cage one, i've got the jist of it, some cult pretend a dead-not dead girl is alive to then... Well, i won't ruin it for anyone, but it's hardly rocket science, more strange than scary. Vampyr... Hmmm, i have seen many old horror movies from the 30s and 40s... I've yet to see one i'd ever sit through again, i'm surprised that there are so many people who hop onboard with these silly mouldy old horror movies, they're not even scary, just very annoying, some chick constantly screaming and a guy running around in a sheet and obviously false teeth shouting "VLAH, I VILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD AND THEN MOLEST YOU!". You didn't really believe i would think that would beat Event Horizon, did you? Some old dude with a limp and slicked back hair VLAHING his way through a 1 hour movie after some hot chick who won't even show a bit of leg (Old days and all), as opposed to the devil possessing a time-travelling space-jumping spaceship and having the crew slaughter each other and themselves (And that's just the set-up for the real story). There really isn't a contest, is there?
Posted 09/10/2011 23:29:46
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - why are you comparing the US (inferior) remake of 'Ringu' to 'Event Horizon'? I'm not comparing the US version to EH, I'm saying the original JP version ('Ringu') is a far better horror movie than EH. But as you have *not* seen the original JP version, you cannot compare the two. Same goes for original 'Wicker Man', and 'American Werewolf'. If you haven't seen the movie, you cannot possibly opine it is (or isn't) better than EH. Do you get it? And for the record, 'Alien' is a better horror movie than EH, hands down, no contest.
Posted 10/10/2011 15:00:41
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - I wasn't comparing the US Ring to Event Horizon as such, i was comparing the stories. You watch a video, you die shortly after, big woop! Be it Japanese or US, it's bound to be the same story, eh? And watch a Japanese horror movie? Me? Are you kidding? I've watched one ever, The Host, and i wish i could have that time back to spend sleeping. As for Wicker Man, again, i know the story, what's so special? Are we forgetting that a movie needs an actual story here? Movies are really not all about style you know, we need a story. Which is where Alien fails horribly. They go to space, there's an alien, the end. Very good movie it's style, some very well done effects and great directing, but the story is garbage. If you compare Aliens and Alien, you'll see what i mean, Aliens is spectacular with a capital SPECTACULAR, fantastic story, a host of brilliant characters, a score so amazing that virtually every movie trailer features it and action that left me stunned when i first watched it. American Werewolf, haven't seen it, but hey, how many werewolf films are there out there? I actually want to do something, it rarely works with anyone here, but let's see if it will now...
Posted 10/10/2011 15:24:30
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Say someone walks into their local cinema, and on the screens around the place, there are 2 trailers playing, there's a trailer for Alien 1 playing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eIpvZsEky4 - and there's a trailer for Event Horizon playing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVlnER8SxfQ - Which do you think people would want to see more? Those trailers right there sum up my whole point.
Posted 10/10/2011 15:46:13
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - I've no idea, why not ring Cineworld and ask if you can conduct a straw poll to find out the answer. Of course, all you've done here is contradict what you said earlier regarding popular opinion i.e. "following what others think is not the way forward." If you *are* using popular opinion to ascertain the better movie (or trailer) then 'Alien' wins every single time, sorry!! I've seen 'Alien' in the cinema, and I actually saw EH on release (Savoy1), no comparison. Also, how many times have you seen EH re-released in the cinema? 'Alien' has been re-released (Director's Cut), and The Screen continue to show it (I watched it there in July). If EH were THE horror movie you think it is, why is The Screen not showing it as part of their current Halloween Monster Mash?
Posted 10/10/2011 16:48:33
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - I hate to burst your bubble, but did you happen to notice the amount of views per youtube video: 'Alien' = 794,898, but EH = 136,502 I'm not sure what your point was, but, by your *own* rationale, more people would like to view the 'Alien' trailer, online at least.
Posted 10/10/2011 22:56:07
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden (We really should stop the @, who else are we talking to here?) - I haven't contradicted myself. I'm more or less asking you to put aside all these figures and classes you're using and just compare the movies without their popular merits. You say Alien is better than Event Horizon because it was re-released (Which i should counter-act with the fact that Alien (1979) was released almost 20 years before Event Horizon (1997), so perhaps a re-release for EH is a little early, don't you think?) and because it's trailer has more views on Youtube. So you're going with popularity by the looks of it. Wheras anyone who really watches those two trailers will clearly see that Event Horizon has much more to offer the viewer, hence the usage of many major special effects clips and major dialogue from the movie. They use very little dialogue from Alien because there's very little of importance in the actual movie, thanks to the lack of any story. That's the reason i use both those trailers, to show that had both those movies been released together instead of almost 20 years apart, you know that Event Horizon would make light work of Alien. Here's what's funny... I've bought Event Horizon twice in stores on DVD over the years, and in both instances, i've had the guys serving me tell me both that "That's a fantastic movie, you'll love it!" to "You ever seen this movie? It's incredible, and this edition is the best (Plastic model spaceship i bought from Tower Records a long time back), very hard to find"). Yet whenever i've bought an Alien DVD (Have two i believe), never once did anyone offer up any kind of conversation for it. So despite all this "Alien's a classic, big views, loved by all!", Event Horizon is the one that seems to draw a response from the general public. As for The Screen not showing it, can't imagine why, but i will suggest it on their Facebook page, see what kind of reaction it draws, as i'm quite curious now.
Posted 10/10/2011 23:34:45
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - you ask me to compate "the movies without their popular merits" and in the exact same post offer a personal anecdote regarding the merits of EH based on the popularity from DVD store staff. You can't have it both ways. We either decide popular opinion is a valid criterion to ascertain which is the better movie, or we don't. But you can't change the rules, only then to use them for yourself. With regard to deciding on the merits of any movie, I see three options (but I'm open to any others you may have): (1) Personal Preference i.e. "I like it even if nobody else does". (2) Popular Opinion i.e. box office, IMDb etc. and (3) Critical Acclaim i.e. the critics, Oscars, Cannes etc. Using these criteria, how would you like to compare 'Alien' to EH?
Posted 11/10/2011 14:57:14
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Yes, of course, compare them without their popular merits, i'm merely pointing out that, while you're using all these facts of Alien being this, that and the other, actually word of mouth for Event Horizon is much stronger than Alien, so while that has all the fancy critical stuff, no one actually cares, that's what i was driving at. This really is very simple... Forget all the hype of Alien... Look at both of these movies as if you're seeing them for the first time... Alien has no story, it has no character background, it has very little use of any real score, it has very few real horror scenes, it's overly long, the colours used are a put off and the directing, while great in some parts, is shoddy in others. Event Horizon has a story, a story created from a real marriage of science and horror, it's characters mostly all have backgrounds for viewers to know a little more of them (While Alien just has fodder for the creature), it has an incredible score from two completely different spectrums of music (The late great Michael Kamen, and the hugely popular techno band Orbital), it's design and feel is far superior to the yellows and browns of Alien, the scenes of horror and thrills are dished out with great generosity with it's story evened out between them, and the directing... What can i say? Anyone's who's seen it knows how amazing a job Anderson did, showing only what needs to be shown at the right time, not sparing the viewers the horrific deaths of the characters (Alien rarely shows a kill, another no no in a proper horror movie) and the opening scene is a work of wonder, a scene so fantastic it took a 3rd of the movie's budget to create it. So from those options you've given (You forgot to mention the "Bandwagon"), give me # (1).
Posted 11/10/2011 15:37:20
Cakes
Paul Alien is a widely regarded classic that has survived decades, and still holds up today. It is the film that launched Ridley Scott, Sigourney Weaver and a huge franchise. EH is a complete rip-off of the book Solaris and a cult film at best.
Posted 11/10/2011 15:48:58
PaulieB
Cakes, in all fairness, Bridget Jones' Diary is a widely regarded classic, that doesn't make it any less s**t. While i do rate Alien as a very good movie, i most certainly wouldn't put it up there with the truly great horror movies. As for Ridley, it was his first major movie, but the TV series Z Cars launched his career and the incredible Blade Runner cemented it. As for the huge franchise, it spawned Aliens, which is completely perfect and worth a thousand of Alien, but Alien 3 was a massive bomb and is one of the worst movies ever made, and Alien: Ressurection, while i always get a kick out of it, was also a huge flop and brought the stand alone Alien series to an end. Both the Alien Vs Predator movies flopped huge, although i love AVP2. Where's the huge franchise? A knockout sequel was it's lot. As for EH being a rip-off, most movies stem from other ideas, even Alien. And there is nothing wrong with cult status, i'm fairly sure.
Posted 11/10/2011 16:01:52
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - according to the trivia for EH on IMDb - "Philip Eisner wrote the movie after a family tragedy... in an effort to force himself to get back to work he pitched the idea of 'The Shining in space' to the studio". We should probably leave it there, considering. One last thing, I own a copy of the "Alien" score by Jerry Goldsmith, nominated for Golden Globe, BAFTA, AND a Grammy. Not bad for a movie which "has very little use of any real score."
Posted 11/10/2011 16:17:45
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - The Shining is an absolute classic, and someone pitching that idea to a studio is genius, nothing at all wrong with that comparison. "Golden Globe, BAFTA, AND a Grammy."... Did it win any of them? Nope. While i love Jerry Goldsmith's work on other movies, my point still stands. But if you still believe i'm wrong, if you have the time, please post me a piece of music from Alien, but make sure you believe it's better than this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3wvN9CeMn8
Posted 11/10/2011 16:41:44
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Did it win any of them? Nope. While i love Jerry Goldsmith's work on other movies, my point still stands." - Your point being 'Alien' has very little use of "any real score", but yet was still good enough to be nominated for a Golden Globe, BAFTA, AND a Grammy. Now you're a music critic?!? Here, try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FK1hlOvtqeE&feature=related (This obsession with all things EH, with whom did you go see this movie with?)
Posted 11/10/2011 17:27:24
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Now now, no need to flare up, you wouldn't be the first to fail up against me, i do know what i'm talking about, trust me, my folks are laughing at you right now for going this far with me already ;) Everything gets a nomination at one time or another. As a good friend once told me "Paulie, don't try to make yourself feel better on sports day by convincing yourself that winning isn't everything, because if it wasn't, you wouldn't have took part in the first place! You lost and you better suck it up and start winning or you're a failure!". Nice nice, Jerry Goldsmith, it's not up to his usual standard, actually not even the score used in the movie, but fair enough effort on your part, even if i'm still right and that score is just nowhere near enough (And also drowned out in the movie). However, this my dear, Prodigy's theme used on the closing credits of EH, how do you top this? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc07IVuw61o ... Hmmm, who did i go see Event Horizon with at the cinema you mean? Hmmm, well, i was a 13/14 year old schoolboy, and also had no money, was also never allowed go to the cinema, so sadly i'd to wait a couple of years and then treated myself to the video, which on first viewing i hated as it terrified me beyond words and took me almost 2 years to watch it again as it gave me fierce nightmares. Although would i have gotten in to see an over 18s movie? Methinks not.
Posted 11/10/2011 23:27:14
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Everything gets a nomination at one time or another." - Not true. EH was never nominated for a Golden Globe, Oscar, BAFTA, or a Grammy.
Posted 12/10/2011 00:06:11
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "i do know what i'm talking about, trust me" - So, you're right, but we in the majority are all wrong. Riiiigggghtt.
Posted 12/10/2011 00:09:24
Bertaut
PauliB has the worst taste in movies in the history of everything. Mortal Kombat and Death Race are terrific? Okay so.
Posted 12/10/2011 01:04:40
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "As for The Screen not showing EH, can't imagine why, but i will suggest it on their Facebook page, see what kind of reaction it draws, as i'm quite curious now." - Any word back from The Screen as to why no showing of EH this month?
Posted 12/10/2011 09:12:29
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden... Hmmm, so you admit that you're rating these movies on how many awards they win/ are nominated for? I thought so. What majority? The views on this review are going up like a fire of hay, so i can only presume that people can also see these comments, yet maybe two randomers have come along and actually took your side, wheras if i were wrong, i should be getting savaged right now, which i'm not. So while no one is on my side, it's not quite the landslide you're expecting, is it? No word from The Screen yet, no, although it wouldn't influence my opinion of the movie, wheras you're all about what others think, the unoriginality of your username/ photo shows that. How about using your own name, like i have? How about using your own photo, like i have? We're two very different people, with two very different ways of picking the movies we like. But yes, if the majority says Alien is better than Event Horizon, the majority is wrong. I've proven why it's the better movie, but all you've done is run of a list of things that Alien has been nominated for and it's Youtube views, you haven't listed a thing about the movie itself. So, just like you telling me i was wrong under Mike's Shining sequel news and then me winning, i've won this too, any more opinions of mine you wish to randomly put down, feel free, although the hostile attitude may be best left at the door.
Posted 12/10/2011 15:04:41
PaulieB
@Bertaut... Total stranger, i honour you with one token response... Both of those movies are fantastic, especially Death Race, Death Race is packed with more crazed action, gore and special effects than most movies out there, if you doubt that, you really shouldn't.
Posted 12/10/2011 15:07:08
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - You cannot "win" this, any more than I can "win" this. It's an exchange of views, not a *formal* debate. And I only debate those who are versed in informal logic and critical argumention, which you are not, sorry, no offence. As for my username/photo, due to professional career reasons, my name/id are private. My use of 'Tyler Durden' is quite apt for discussing movies, so that should suffice. As for the "hostile attitude", huh?!?
Posted 12/10/2011 15:29:33
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "But yes, if the majority says Alien is better than Event Horizon, the majority is wrong." - Using what criteria?
Posted 12/10/2011 15:33:07
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - When i post a comment and someone sets out to prove me wrong, only to fail at doing so, i claim ultimate victory, it keeps the fire alive in one's belly. And in all fairness, i'm not exchanging anything, i'm 'telling' you that Event Horizon is better than Alien, and you're making no attempt to prove me wrong whatsoever, so really i'm the only one with an actual view here... No offense either... Hmmm, your name is private... If i guess, will you tell me?... You're... Queen Elizabeth? Tina Turner? Oh wait, i know, you're Olivia Wilde ans you won't say because we'll drool all over you? Is that it? Because aside from that, i see no reason why a member can't use their first name, as there's bound to be at least 2 with the same name in the world, eh? And the criteria i'm using is very simple... It's called fact. Event Horizon beats Alien hands down, if it doesn't, you name to me any scene in Alien and i'll better it with a scene from EH. But again, make sure you actually 'like' the scene and you don't just use Google like you did through this whole... whatever it is, to find the most popular scene.
Posted 12/10/2011 15:48:04
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - You seem to claiming quite a bit here based on your own opinion, and nothing more. Who put you in charge? To claim "ultimate victory" on a movie message board is infantile (and slightly needy from an emotional perspective - trying to fill a void?). Especially when the criterion is your personal preference/opinion. You're *more* than entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts, or version of reality. I have no need to defend nor evangalise 'Alien', it stands all by itself; while you are the one trying to convince all who will listen how good EH supposedly is. Thou protest too much, methinks.
Posted 12/10/2011 16:13:03
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden ... So you can't tell me why Alien is better than Event Horizon? Why not just admit that in the first place? We could've saved all of this. Oh well, i claim ultimate victory, you bashed my opinion, i proved it right, na na na na na. And i'm hardly needy, i've been responding to you this whole time, if you stopped, i'd stop. Again, you're good fun, but in future, before telling somebody they're wrong, be ready to 'prove' them wrong, like i did for you. I'm good like that, see? As for your hostile attitude, your latest comment is a perfect summary. Toodles ;) 'Whistles "I am the champion my friends!"
Posted 12/10/2011 16:25:42
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "So you can't tell me why Alien is better than Event Horizon?" - This is known as a Straw Man argument. You're making up your own personal version of what I have said (I have no need to defend nor evangalise 'Alien'), and are somehow arguing against that instead of responding to what I *actually* wrote. Informal logic and critical argumentation 101. Try again.
Posted 12/10/2011 16:40:40
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Why i'm gonna asking you this is beyond me, seeing as you're naming yourself from a horribly overrated movie like Fight Club, so obviously know zilch about a real movie, but here goes... You work in Xtra Vision, i walk in, take up a copy of Alien, walk up to you at the counter and ask "Is this movie any good? It is? Why is it good?"... GO!
Posted 12/10/2011 16:44:35
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "seeing as you're naming yourself from a horribly overrated movie like Fight Club, so obviously know zilch about a real movie" - You expect me to respond to this? Try attacking the argument, *not* the person.
Posted 12/10/2011 17:23:17
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - I'm pointing out your originality and your taste, not attacking you. If you feel i was attacking you, how about the comments from you to me? Infintile? Needy? Ring Cineworld and ask for a straw poll? And my personal favourite: "This obsession with all things EH, with whom did you go see this movie with?" And that means??? Look, this is all so simple, you name me one scene from Alien that you think is superior to Event Horizon, you claim to love the movie (I'm fond of it myself, but nowhere near to the extent you are, and would not include among my top horror movies), so you should be able to name at least one scene. And please don't cleverly avoid the point of my comment, it's ever so childish and so obvious to people that you clearly have no idea about the movie you're prattling on about. I'd even be surprised if you've ever seen it.
Posted 12/10/2011 22:55:02
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "you clearly have no idea about the movie you're prattling on about. I'd even be surprised if you've ever seen it." - Is there any point in conversing if you're not going to actually read my responses? See: 'Alien' has been re-released (Director's Cut), and The Screen continue to show it (I watched it there in July). Posted 10/10/2011 16:48:33
Posted 12/10/2011 23:11:05
Tyler Durden
Seriously though, PaulieB, what *is* this emotional obsession with EH? I mean, it's only a movie...
Posted 12/10/2011 23:13:45
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "I'd even be surprised if you've ever seen it." - Wrong again. See above. When it comes to commenting on movies one has never seen (i.e. 'Ringu', 'Wicker Man' and 'Vampyr'), you seem quite guilty of that. Hypocrite much?
Posted 12/10/2011 23:21:07
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - John Hurt's chest exploding with Robocop's dog escaping from him... A scene from Alien. Not so difficult, eh? As for the rest, bull, you've had your say, you're wrong and you couldn't put it right. Don't comment me or hack at my opinions again without backing up your statements.
Posted 12/10/2011 23:26:42
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Yeah yeah, i believe we're done here, go treat yourself to a copy of Alien on DVD, i suggest the special 2 disc edition, you get both versions, you can be wrong twice.
Posted 12/10/2011 23:28:17
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - I think this is my favourite comment of yours - "Wicker Man is cursed so i'm never even watching that." - Comedy gold. I gave you 14 movie titles better than EH, you haven't seen half of them. Yet still proceed to hold dear to your beloved EH. We call that the Argument from Ignorance. Go shopping online, educate yourself.
Posted 12/10/2011 23:56:29
PaulieB
Anyone else think it's hilarious that 'Tyler Durden' here LOVES Alien, but can't mention one single scene from it? Not a one? Wheras i could go through Event Horizon with you here and now, scene by scene. @Tyler Durden - I watch lots of movies, lots and lots, i've even seen Alien, dozens of times, i rented first years ago, then bought the Alien Quadrilogy box set, then ended up with all the 4 Alien movies in my beloved Alien/ Predator Total Destruction box set. I bet you're just raging, eh? Horror movies i've bought online in the last week that i've never seen... Paranormal Acitivity, Carrie, An American Werewolf In London, 30 Days Of Night, Jeepers Creepers, Halloween 6... I will enjoy 'em all! Now if you've nothing more to say? Oh and yeah, Wicker Man is heavily cursed, the movie and the film reel, look it up. Now we are done.
Posted 13/10/2011 00:07:32
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "and yeah, Wicker Man is heavily cursed, the movie and the film reel, look it up." - A real movie fan/critic would never let a silly superstition stop them from watching a movie. Can you imagine Mark Kermode on the BBC saying sorry, he can't review 'Wicker Man' because it is "heavily cursed". Not just cursed as you alleged earlier, now it's "heavily cursed". Awww, is Paulie Waulie still afraid of the monsters under his bed...
Posted 13/10/2011 07:58:13
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Wheras i could go through Event Horizon with you here and now, scene by scene." - Please, don't. We've had enough of your lovefest with Event Horizon. It's only a movie.
Posted 13/10/2011 08:01:00
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - I'm still curious as to why your first post on a review for 'The Three Musketeers', states: "Event Horizon is the best horror movie ever made...". Nobody even mentioned EH. The review is for TTM.
Posted 13/10/2011 08:06:31
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Actually, i also mentioned that i have the jist of the story of Wicker Man from the remake, and it ain't all that, so wrong again, but yes, i remember the headline about a band buying a reel from the movie, carrying on their tour bus, their bus crashing and them nearly all dying, and that's just one example from a long line. As for my lovefest of Event Horizon... I llllllllllllooooooooovvvvvvveeeeeee iiiiiiiittttttttttttt! And you know what? I've sssssssseeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn iiiiiitttttttt. Oh yes, i'm actually talking about a movie i know quite well, that i own quite a few times. I'm not just using it to crush someone else's opinion, am i? So hey... Still no mention of an Alien scene, eh? And Paulie Waulie? Really? You reverting to yet more mockery to cover up your stupidity? And in case you hadn't noticed (I say that seeing as you haven't seen Alien, so you may be sprouting more crap), Event Horizon and TTM share the same director, hence my mention. You should come onto my Facebook or Twitter, i could educate you and get out of this "I'll lie about seeing movies to make myself seem intelligent to Paulie Waulie" mode you're in. Now am i nice or what? :)
Posted 13/10/2011 15:10:50
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - " i have the jist of the story of Wicker Man from the remake" - which is clearly *not* the same as having watched the original. Why not watch it, *then* compare it to your precious EH. What's the worst that can happen?
Posted 13/10/2011 15:46:36
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Event Horizon and TTM share the same director, hence my mention." - It was more than just a "mention" - did you cut/paste that from a previous love letter? And yet you failed to even mention TTM in your initial post. Lemme guess, you've not actually seen TTM?
Posted 13/10/2011 15:55:17
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - So the fact that i don't think much of the story will make no difference? The movie will still be a revelation? And excuse me with all this "Your precious Event Horizon" crap, don't be a bitter pill, you have failed most horribly here. As a matter of fact, from my many years posting here, i don't think i've ever encountered such stupidity, i actually feel bad even talking to you like an adult, i feel i should be handing you a lollipop everytime you comment or something. But on your comment, you go watch Alien and i may consider still never watching Wicker Man, deal?
Posted 13/10/2011 15:55:53
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - I was actually commenting on Mike Sheridan's review, the 3rd part (You'd know if you'd read it). And seriously, just give it up, you failed and you failed big, suck it up. Event Horizon is the greatest horror movie ever made, EVER. If you don't agree, tough. Not like you've ever seen a movie anyway, not judging by the amount of lies about Alien. "It was re-released, i saw it and loved it. I don't need to blah blah blah it to you!".
Posted 13/10/2011 16:02:51
PaulieB
Oh, by the way, i think if you look at my comment in full, you'll see i mentioned a lot more movies than EH.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:04:01
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - Once again, you seem to be arguing against *your* own personal version of what I said here. So, take your time, read my posts, and find where I said that I "loved" Alien. I said I saw upon re-release in The Screen in July, and it is a better horror movie than EH, hands down, no contest. Did I use the word "love"? That would seem to be your particular noun of choice for movies, not mine.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:18:25
PaulieB
Isn't it funny when people try to wallpaper over gaping holes in walls? @Tyler Durden - Please, yes, we get it, it was re-released in The Screen, it was re-released EVERYWHERE! Do you work for The Screen or something? But while on the subject, no you haven't seen Alien, ever. Stop lying.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:21:28
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "I was actually commenting on Mike Sheridan's review" - Mike's review was of TTM, not EH. And I was referring to the lack of posts from others, with yours being the very first. Not that it stopped you giving us your personal opinion on EH. And I'm still not sure why?
Posted 13/10/2011 16:30:45
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Please, yes, we get it, it was re-released in The Screen, it was re-released EVERYWHERE!" - Wrong again. The Screen released it as part of their Monday night retro-film-club, so it wasn't actually on general release. It *was* on general release for the Director's Cut in 2003.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:39:57
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - "Paul W.S. Anderson actually started out as a solid action director. Mortal Kombat was drivel, but it was fun drivel and is probably still one of the best computer game adaptations (granted that's a low bar). He followed that up with the unsettling Event Horizon, then seemingly became an awful director overnight. Resident Evil was dull, Death Race worse and his last instalment in the 'Resident' series utterly s**te. At least he's become consistent, because this is just as bad as his last several films."... That's what i was responding to. Now if you're done talking s**te, there's people i'd like to talk to who actually have SEEN the movies they compare to the unbeatable Event Horizon! Not that you'd know, my bet is that you've never even seen THAT movie. As for whatever else you're on about (You're post being the very first), that means no one gives a toss about TTM. Me giving my person opinion on EH, same director, Mike mentioned it in his review, i love it etc... Are you telling me now that i'm not allowed to mention a movie i like? Why? Because you lost the "Exchange of views" ?
Posted 13/10/2011 16:40:01
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - And yet you've still to provide any of the movie's actual details. You think Googling movies makes you clever? I haven't used Google once through this whole thing. Now seriously, give it up, this is going nowhere and never will.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:44:41
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - This use of "love" for what is *only* a movie, very unsettling I have to say. Normal people tend to use love as an affection towards other people - but hey, if you *love* EH, I hope you two will be very happy together.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:47:11
Tyler Durden
@PaulieWaulieB - "And yet you've still to provide any of the movie's actual details." - Why should I need to, we're discussing your obsession with EH.
Posted 13/10/2011 16:49:14
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - We're discussing you saying that countless movies are better than EH and your massive unwillingness to go into any detail of Alien, as you've never seen it. As for obsession, so what? I love the movie, what do you care? I'll be obsessed with whatever i choose. When are you gonna stop making a show of yourself?
Posted 13/10/2011 16:59:29
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Now if you're done talking s**te, there's people i'd like to talk to who actually have SEEN the movies they compare to the unbeatable Event Horizon." - It's a free country, you can talk to whomever you like, whenever you like. And once again, your hypocrisy is showing. You've never even seen 'Ringu' or 'Wicker Man' or 'Vampyr' (or 'American Werewolf'), yet dismiss them as being lesser than your obsession that is EH.
Posted 13/10/2011 17:02:20
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "We're discussing you saying that countless movies are better than EH and your massive unwillingness to go into any detail of Alien, as you've never seen it." - I gave you 14 titles above that are better than EH, 'Alien' being one of them - and you have yet to even see 7 of them. There is no point even discussing 'Alien' here (a seperate thread perhaps) as you've plainly demonstrated your total obsession with, and undying love to EH, there is no changing your mind. I got that early on, trust me. I'm more interested in your irrational 'love' for EH.
Posted 13/10/2011 17:12:12
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - I mentioned having bought American Werewolf, having not seen it yet, but it being a werewolf movie, they're 2 a penny. And again with the obsession... You'd know all about that, wouldn't you? How many comments is this to me now? And how many are worthless? Still, maybe i was wrong about you having crap taste... Although grabbing wildly for my attention, insulting me and insulting the things i like may not be ways to please yours truly ;)
Posted 13/10/2011 17:12:27
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Irrational love for Event Horizon? The fact that it's a jolly bloody good show is not enough reason for me to love it? What are you implying? I'm curious...
Posted 13/10/2011 17:15:23
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - I'm implying your myopic, dogmatic, obsession with all things EH (including soundtrack) is somehow filling a void, an emotional need, or is a reminder of a favourite (latent) memory. Hence your openly blatant use of "love" for a *non-human* relationship. It's only a movie.
Posted 13/10/2011 17:26:41
PaulieB
People, none of you are allowed to love a movie, you may like it, but if you say you love it, you're OUTTA HERE! @Tyler Durden - I've enough stalkers, try out again next year. Event Horizon rules! And i'm loved by many! And a family! Boo yah!
Posted 13/10/2011 17:34:09
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - a movie is a reel of celluloid, or terabytes of binary data, do you honestly "love" a piece of colorless flammable material made from nitrocellulose or an arrangement of pixels? Perhaps you love those feelings a movie evokes, the effect a movie has on you, or the memory of such an effect. This is quite normal. To say you "love" a movie is quite ridiculous. Unless of course one is obsessed.
Posted 13/10/2011 19:44:03
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "I've enough stalkers" - If memory serves, *you* invited me to join you on Facebook or Twitter - "You should come onto my Facebook or Twitter" Posted 15:10:50. Poor Paulie. Another void. So sad. At least you have EH to keep you company. I do hope it's not cursed.
Posted 13/10/2011 19:48:35
FilmBuff76
The Three Musketeers... or more likely Musketeers Of The Caribbean. There's a definite Pirates Of The Caribbean-vibe to this new version of Alexandre Dumas classic tale, whether it's Orlando Bloom or the music which occasionally riffs on that in the Johnny Depp films. Paul W.S. Anderson tends to make "it does what it says on the tin" movies, so what you get is essentially 109 minutes of swashbuckling swordfights, odd airship battles and Bloom chewing the scenery as if it was toffee. It's watchable but instantly forgettable. Instead of going to see this, set your video timer for the 1973 Michael York version, buried away in the early hours of Saturday morning on UTV.
Posted 13/10/2011 20:50:05
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - You've never heard someone say they love a movie? Wow, you really do lead a sheltered life, don't you? You've never seen Alien, you've never loved a movie and you call The Ring Ringu as if you're trying to be cool. And as for your next comment, you really think it's a void? Why spin so much bulls**t my way then? Why not just go away and admit that you tried to be smart and came off as stupid? Seriously, when you come off the conctail of booze and medication, you're gonna look back at all your comments here and think "OMG, did i really type all of that crap???!". My God, lol, someone who never says they love a movie... And yet here she is taking shots at someone who really does love movies, who grew up watching them, someone known to his oldest friends as a massive movie nerd. And i quote: "Paulie, your taste in movies is up yer hole, but you'd wipe the floor with me in movie knowledge!". Oh, by the way, The Grinch (AKA How The Grinch Stole Christmas) with Jim Carrey, i LOVE that movie more than most human lives! And typing s**t like this - "a movie is a reel of celluloid, or terabytes of binary data, do you honestly "love" a piece of colorless flammable material made from nitrocellulose or an arrangement of pixels? Perhaps you love those feelings a movie evokes, the effect a movie has on you, or the memory of such an effect. This is quite normal. To say you "love" a movie is quite ridiculous. Unless of course one is obsessed" will not change my mind. Now seriously, unless you've something of use to add, please, i'm watching Passenger 57 right now, a movie i lllllloooooovvvvvveeee, since babyhood, if that's alright with you.
Posted 13/10/2011 23:16:33
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - Posted 13/10/2011 23:16:33 - A post without any reference to EH. I'm shocked I tells ya, shocked. Feel free to stop posting here anytime you like... step away from the keyboard, stop pestering movie boards with all things EH... perhaps watch 'Ringu' (much scarier than EH), or read a good book - 'The Shining' by Stephen King is superb.
Posted 14/10/2011 00:02:59
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - And i quote: "Paulie, your taste in movies is up yer hole, but you'd wipe the floor with me in movie knowledge!". - The first part of the statement is self-evident, and axiomatic; but you've displayed no knowledge of movies here. Unless we count your knowledge of movies which happen to be "heavily cursed". Oh my, how we laughed.
Posted 14/10/2011 00:12:26
Tyler Durden
@PaulieB - "Alien has no story, it has no character background, it has very little use of any real score, it has very few real horror scenes, it's overly long, the colours used are a put off and the directing, while great in some parts, is shoddy in others." - Let us see what Mr Paul W. S. Anderson thinks: "I don't think it would be possible for me to respect people like Ridley Scott or James Cameron more than I already do. They're gods of filmmaking. 'AvP' is not trying to be 'Alien' or 'Aliens', and it's not trying to be 'Predator'. Those are genius movies." Oh dear. If Anderson thinks that about Ridley, and 'Alien', he must know *nothing* about movie-making, considering your devastating review of it PaulieB. And a director of such ineptitude could never direct a decent horror flick, never mind "the best horror movie ever made". So, which is it Paulie?
Posted 14/10/2011 00:39:01
PaulieB
@Tyler Durden - Yyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn. You still on the earhole? I like Alien, i like Event Horizon way more and think it's superior. Now away with you, you annoying little bug.
Posted 14/10/2011 15:00:18
Admin
Paul, limit the name calling or you will be blocked. Stay on topic.
Posted 14/10/2011 15:05:36
Denise
Could PaulieB and Tyler Durden please exchange phone no's and save us having to scroll through all their drivel - Thanks!
Posted 15/10/2011 00:45:33
PaulieB
@Denise - LOL, just what i was thinking! I did invite her to my Twitter though, so i tried :)
Posted 15/10/2011 12:22:08
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