The Roommate

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Hot girl: check. Hot boy: check. Equally hot psycho girl: check. This film actually contains a scene where aforementioned hot girls wrestle while a kidnapped (yes, and hot) lesbian is strapped to a bed, but doesn't "whoop" once. Where's the realism?

Thirtysomething Minka Kelly is just out of high school, and is looking forward to meeting her new college roommate. She probably shouldn't be, though, because her new college roommate is batshit crazy and off her meds. Minka then hooks up with the obligatory hot (perpetually smug) college boyfriend, and all is hunky dory until she attempts to have a life outside of her new bunkmate. Before you know it, kittens will be slain and belly button rings will be violently removed (but off camera, because of the rating).

It's hard to know where to begin, because there is not one single redeemable feature to this unintentionally hilarious nonsense. The Roommate plays like a bunch of rehearsals committed to film; there's no urgency whatsoever, and all of the actors are on autopilot. Kelly has proven that she can act in the excellent series version of Friday Night Lights. Granted, putting her in a few scenes with Billy Zane (graduating to fashion professor after that Zoolander cameo) probably didn't help, but she's poor here. Of everyone, Meester should be enjoying herself playing the cliched nutjob, but instead simply looks constipated/hot when applicable.

Director Christiansen points the camera at people and says "action," then puts pop music over the footage that he filmed. Judging by the results, it's hard to imagine any other discussions taking place during the production, such is the resounding banality of the final product. From top to toe, this is a badly produced and acted film.

Don't waste your money on The Roomate. Instead, put on your iPod and walk around and look at things while music plays. It's basically the same thing - probably just with less hot psychos.