The Last Legion

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460 AD, and the crumbling Roman Empire falls to the Goths. The last Caesar, 12-year-old Romulus (Sangster), is captured and imprisoned on Capri with his sage-like protector Ambrosinus (Kingsley). Under the command of the dutiful Aurelius (Firth), a small band of soldiers attack the island, free Romulus and make for Britannia, where the last legion of Romans hold the only hope against the Barbarian hordes. The Last Legion is let down by the obvious budget constraints (the film looks cheaper than chips), Catchphrase dialogue (say what you see) and a plot that thinks it's a lot bigger than it actually is. We are introduced to a multitude of characters, inter-relationships and back-stories in the intro, but as the film continues these prove inconsequential and the plot reveals itself to be wafer-like. The most remarkable aspects of the film is the appearance of Ben Kingsley (what the hell is he doing in this?) and the ridiculously beautiful Aishwarya Rai, whose cleavage probably didn't cost a cent, so director Lefler gave it a copious amount of attention (and who can blame him?). It's pretty light on everything: even though theres sword fights a-plenty, the action is blood-scarce and the majority of grisly happenings take place just off screen, which is why we have the 12A rating. John Hannah, Peter Mullan and Iain Glen co-star.