The Hills Have Eyes 2

Wes Craven's 1977 original was a low budget grindhouse gore fest and Alexandre Aja's faithful remake last year wasn't all that bad - but this tepid sequel has only one thing in common with its forerunners: it's got 'The Hills Have Eyes' in the title. We can admire director Weisz and writer Jonathan Craven (Wes's son) for trying something entirely different from the first (and universally derided) 1985 sequel, but we can damn them too, for delivering something so bereft of flair and brains it's hard to stay awake. A small squad of National Guard recruits are transported to the desert of New Mexico to deliver supplies to a camp in an area known as Sector 16. However, the squad find a deserted camp and soon they are picked off one by one by a group of vicious mutants living in the surrounding hills. The Hills Have Eyes II is so bad it's almost a parody: one soldier survives two weeks in a excrement-filled port-a-loo only to crawl out and mutter 'they're here' before the inevitable, and another creates a loud ruckus when he slides down an underground tunnel, kicks a door in, only to whisper 'Clear!' There's even a 'death by wallet' scene. But the best/worst moment is when one soldier realises what's happening and utters "Oh, man - they're picking us off one by one." Wait for the DVD.