Romantics Anonymous

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Angelique Delange (Carre) is a master chocolatier whose career is hampered by a crushing shyness so debilitating she attends Emotions Anonymous meetings. Forcing herself into the world, she applies for a job in a struggling chocolate factory, run by Jean-Rene Van Den Hugde (Poelvoorde, a million miles away from his serial killer in Man Bites Dog). Jean-Rene has his own problems: he sees a psychiatrist for his fear of women; he loves women, he swears, but is scared that initial feelings of love will turn to hate after a time so what's the point in getting involved? It's only a matter of time before these two characters fall for each other but will their respective emotional problems be too much of an obstacle?

The opening credit sequence sets the tone – a jaunty upbeat and bouncy number ushers the movie into being - and credit to director Ameris for his steadfast dedication to seeing his vision through to the bloody end. For good or ill. There's nothing really wrong with Romantics Anonymous. It's a movie your granny would love: it's short, snappy and there's lashings of old fashioned romantic misunderstandings. There's even the awkward two people-one hotel bed scenario. There's no nudity. Nobody curses.

However, there isn't a scene or line in the movie that will stick in the memory thirty seconds after the end credits roll and that's because the movie has no grounds in reality – Ameris needs guy wires to stop it from floating away. For a romantic comedy to work the audience has to believe the characters and the situation; there aren't spaceships landing or orcs running about but these characters don't echo in the real world. Nothing here would ever happen ever… not even in a Richard Curtis movie.

Carre and Poelvoorde work overtime to keep their slightly irritating characters likeable but Romantics Anonymous just doesn't have any staying power.