Punisher: War Zone

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Action fans really don't ask for much; some well-handled scuffles, a couple of explosions and maybe a car chase. Throw in a charismatic lead, a dastardly bad guy, with obligatory damsel kidnapping plot in tow, and air-thumping is bound to ensue. The first Punisher film had most of these things, was still a pretty crap film, but that didn't make it any less enjoyable. This one doesn't want to be a sequel, instead opting to take the violent vigilante in an all new direction. The result is unintentionally hilarious, and inherently bad. First of all, the plot makes no sense whatsoever. It just begins in a hyper-violent manner, and ends in a hyper-violent manner, with the odd person saying stuff in between. Frank Castle is now a man of even fewer words, but still really enjoys ripping bad guys new ones. It doesn't matter what colour your skin is, what gender you are, or even if you're in a wheelchair; Castle will literally smash your face in like an eggshell. As a matter of fact, you may even lose count of the amount of faces that are smashed in, as innumerable mushes meet Frank's boulder-like fists and cave in applicably. Despite the presence of the director of (the god-awful) Green Street, I was willing to give this a chance. I like my action flicks as much as the next mannish sort, and was looking forward to some brainless fun. Needless to say the brainless part was achieved with irrefutable success, but Alexander seems to think that throwing as much excessive violence as possible at us will somehow cover up her blatant shortcomings as a director. She has no flair with the action sequences, with most coming off as cartoonish, choppy and excessively gut-drenched. In this post-Bourne world, we want at least a bit of variability to our action - the grittier the better. Ray Stevenson is the one I feel most sorry for; the man has genuine presence, and proved that in the HBO series Rome. But here, he's left stranded, looking severely constipated and in need of a shave. Dominic West fares even worse, and is theatrical to the point of pantomime - there is no excuse for moving from the brilliance of The Wire to this. Will appeal to very few, and entertain even fewer. Avoid.