Prom Night

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Wes Craven has a lot to answer for; his seminal 1996 irony-ridden classic Scream is still causing cinematic dyspepsia twelve years after its release. Prom Night is a remake of Jamie Lee Curtis's 1980s slasher movie that was essentially a cash-in on the success of Halloween. This updated version sees our pretty teen Donna (Snow) recovering from a traumatic experience three years earlier, when a teacher took an infatuation too far and killed all of her family in a violent blood bath (eh, without any actual blood). But it's okay - he's behind bars thousands of miles away now, and can do no harm. No wait: he's escaped and is lurking in the hotel where Donna's Prom Night is taking place. Could he have picked a worse time!? Some serial killers really have no consideration. Anyhow, much off-camera slaying, and dancing to emo music by 30-year-old men masquerading as High School students ensues. Sounds so bad it's good, doesn't it? It's really just shite, truth be told. This is a slasher film for pre-teen girls to be watched at sleepovers, and nothing more. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't amusement to be had, though. They tell us who the killer is off the bat; but instead of giving him a scary disguise or making him aesthetically disturbing, they cast an apparent GAP model, and give him a baseball cap to disguise his face - the guy walks round for the entire film looking like he's looking for someone to spray cologne on, for Christ's sake. The plot holes swallow up any form of conceivability after about fifteen minutes, and you're never once distracted with a well-handled scene. The director has not got a clue what makes a tense sequence, and has got nothing else to fall back on but annoying characters, bad acting and a soundtrack that feels like was put together by some image-conscious, skateboarding goths. Wait for it to come on TV one night, then mock it. Paying for a cinema ticket to do exactly that will just piss you off.