Halloween 2

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Rob Zombie is now pretty much the antichrist for fans of the original John Carpenter classic. He turned an emotionless, coldly efficient and terrifying killer into a bullied child with Daddy issues in the first film, and has now buffed him up once more for this ill-advised, horribly nonsensical sequel. Everything that was great about the original is completely gone here, as Zombie seems intent on shoving his own, grubby, red neck vision into the franchise. You can respect the man wanting to do something different, but why he insists on calling these two films 'Halloween' is beyond me, as they're subpar slasher movies at best, and God-awful remakes to anyone that recalls the groundbreaking first film with any sort of fondness.

Michael Myers aint dead, people, he was just taking a break. After leaving his sister alone for a year, he's back, and intent on forcing a family reunion. After an opening dream sequence, that's an obvious nod to the first Halloween 2, we meet a still-in-shock Laurie Strode, who seems to have contracted her brother's mentalness. It's pretentious visions ahoy, as Laurie starts to see images of her slain sister, just as her brother does before going on a killing spree of epic proportions. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomas has gone and written a book about the whole thing and seems intent on making some clams from his traumatic experience.

Trying desperately to replicate the brilliant, gritty horrors of the 70s, Zombie has instead assembled an incoherent mess of a movie, that delivers cluttered gore in abundance, but fails on every other level. Trying to give Michael Myers a reason as to why he kills people was a silly idea in the first place, but trying to say his sister also has "the killing gene" is utterly ridiculous. Even the kills are repetitive and dull - Myers constantly throwing people against things is not innovative horror.

The original sequel wasn't a patch on its predecessor, but had a unique angle, in that it was set directly after the first film and in one location. This one, well, it's uniquely awful.