Half Past Dead

Go ahead, look at the credits and see that Half Past Dead stars Steven Seagal. Although that's as clear a recommendation not to see a movie as any I have heard, Half Past Dead features a paunchy Seagal playing a car thief called Sascha Petrosevitch, who suffers a near death experience and decides to right some wrongs in jail. Now ask yourself, do I really need to shell over my hard earned moolah to see this? Really?

Just for the record, Segal's character, as is mandatory in these films, has a shady past with a governmental organisation which he doesn't want to talk about. The day that he arrives in the New Alcatraz, criminal Donny (Chestnut) spearheads an assault on the big house. The purpose? To ascertain the whereabouts of $200 million, stashed by an inmate about to be executed.

With a plot as tubby as its star and almost as lazy, Half Past Dead lacks even the ridiculous action shenanigans of Seagal's earlier offerings like Under Siege. Mercifully, Seagal's plump macho posturing is kept to a minimum, but the director's inability to bring anything new to the genre undermines Half Past Dead. Still, no matter how bad the film is, you can't help loving the sheer stupidity of the title.