Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Oh we've been on tenterhooks, haven't we? We've been a waitin' Rob Schneider's return as "man ho" Deuce Bigalow, haven't we? Well no, we haven't. But here he is anyway. Be warned - no adult is going to admit to having willingly gone to see this film, unless they're embarking on a date designed to crush a relationship. That said, early adolescent males will be running up fake IDs to beat the 16s certificate, imposed by the Film Censor in order to (one imagines) protect the innocent from as much misogynistic bad taste as it's possible to cram into an hour and a half.

The bad taste entails all manner of medical and psychological complaints being visited on the female characters. The romantic lead (Verboom) gets off lightly with an obsessive compulsive disorder featuring 130 different behavioural tics. Other female characters suffer gigantism, a humpback, over-large ears, a penis for a nose, a washing phobia, and a tracheostomy. They've all hired Euro-gigolos (who were subsequently murdered), the implication being that no man would be interested in them unless it was a monetary transaction.

What passes for a story involves Bigalow discovering who the murderer is and yes, the audience will work it out long before he does. The action takes place in Amsterdam, which passes for Europe, and if you've already guessed that the woman with a penis for a nose has a run in with the woman who's had a tracheostomy then you really don't need to see this movie.