Code Name: The Cleaner

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Jake (Cedric The Entertainer) has lost his memory after being smacked over the canister by an unknown assailant, and placed next to a dead FBI agent and a quarter of a million dollars. Wondering what's going on, he's confronted by a woman claiming to be his wife (Sheridan) who tells him he's a loaded secret agent, then dances around in her underwear and rubs off him provocatively. But Jake is actually nothing more than a janitor, who is being used to do bad stuff by some wrong sorts looking to make some money. About as funny as being repeatedly kicked in the groin by a freakishly overgrown toddler, this is one of the most ineptly handled "comedies" you are likely to lay your eyes on in a theatre this year. Cedric the Entertainer (it's nice that his name tells us what he does, because we wouldn't know otherwise) tries to elevate the atrocious script by improvising scenes, which usually involves him talking to himself to further the muddled and clumsy exposition, and repeating 'I'm married to a white woman' over and over. This fact that this is stupid, ill-conceived muck is not what bothers me; hell, that doesn't stop other comedies out there from having moments of laugh-out-loud hilarity. When it's done this badly and half-arsed, however, it's an insult to the viewer's intelligence, no matter how stupid they may be. I have never seen Cedric do his stand-up (which I'm assuming is how he became relatively famous), but he was fine in Barbershop, so blame has to be aimed at director Mayfield and scripters, which include George Gallo (the classic Midnight Run) for crafting a turd of almost epic proportions. Everyone is awful, nothing is funny and there's no gratuitous violence or sex to divert you from the blandly-assembled mediocrity unfolding before your eyes. Avoid like a swan carrying a physically manifested version of the bird flu.