The Da Vinci Code

While lecturing in Paris, famous symbologist Robert Langdon (Hanks) is asked by the French police to assist them finding the killer of a Louvre curator. Beside the body is hastily scribbled cipher and after solving the puzzle, Langdon is amazed to find that it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of artist Leonardo Da Vinci. With the help of gifted cryptologist Sophie Neveu (Tautou), the pair finds that the curator was a member of a secret society - the Priory Of Sion. A breathless race through the streets of Paris and London follows as Langdon and Neveu try to track down the Priory's secret before Silas (Paul Bethany) - a killer monk and member of the devout catholic clandestine organisation Opus Dei - gets there first.

There are many principles a scriptwriter must adhere to if a film is going to work and 'Show, Don't Tell' is the most important as, unlike a book, film is a visual medium and it must stand on it's own regardless of the source material. Akiva Goldsman has numerous accolades as a scriptwriter with Cinderella Man and A Beautiful Mind but has dropped a few clangers with Batman Forever, I, Robot and Lost In Space. The Da Vinci Code can be added to the latter list. An appalling series of exposition after exposition, the film is constantly stopping and starting in what looks like a 'spot the chapter cliff hanger game'. The crudely drawn characters lack any emotional depth, and in what seems like a bad joke, we're told Langdon's claustrophobia is a result of him falling into a deep well as a boy - there's depth for you. It isn't even a remarkably looking film either and director Ron Howard seems to be on autopilot, never realising the magnificent looking locations he has at his disposal. Utilising numerous and obstructive flashbacks - the last refuge of a lazy filmmaker - Howard attempts to fill the massive narrative gaps but is unable, or unwilling, to prevent his film from falling into a yawning chasm of absurdity. But Howard seems to realise one thing: it doesn't matter how bad this film is, it will make millions anyway. His players fare no better in what is the most poorly acted film in years: Hanks - everyone's everyman - never even tries to elevate himself above the robotic lines while Tautou just runs around asking questions (so many, many questions).Bethany is the only visually striking feature as his self-flagellations are given frequent revisits and his hooded, vicious monk exudes malevolence. By the closing credits (that come a half hour too late) you're left wondering how many good scripts were passed because of the millions of money pumped into nonsense like this as if Hollywood moguls have their own Opus Dei - a clandestine organisation set up to prevent good films being made.