The Boy Next Door

The idea of Jennifer Lopez: Movie Star just doesn’t work for me. Her sporadic forays into film of late suggest that she’s only in front of the camera when her popstar schedule opens up, which translates as she’s in a movie when she isn’t busy. There’s something wrong with that, especially when you’re asking people to hand over twelve quid to watch something she’s doing in her spare time.

Lopez is Claire Peterson, a classics teacher debating whether or not to welcome back cheating hubby Garrett (Corbett) when nineteen-year-old hottie Noah (Guzman, one of the Step Ups) moves in next door to take care of his sick uncle. There’s an immediate attraction and after too much wine and a bad date she and Noah fall into bed. The next morning she moves to distance herself from the boy and it’s not long before he’s punching walls in the middle of the day, staring out windows in the middle of the night, and hacking emails whenever he can…

In her first solo vehicle since 2010’s The Back Up Plan (What To Expect was more an ensemble piece), Lopez executively produces (what is that anyway?) this Fatal Attraction-in-reverse thriller. But she fails to convince again as a leading lady. Unable to shake off the popstar/model/TV judge, she can’t inhabit a character the way an actor needs to. There’s no conviction in her voice and there’s no spark between her and Guzman, looking every one of his twenty-seven years. The problems don’t stop there: The subplot of Guzman working overtime to generate distrust between Corbett and gullible, sickly son (Ian Nelson) takes up too much running time, and in what universe are Lopez and Chenoweth sisters?

Unashamedly cobbling together clichés and hackneyed twists that are signposted in neon, the script limps towards its inevitable and predicable showdown. But then something happens. It becomes so preposterous, so silly, it begins to entertain, garnering a few chuckles: this is the kind of movie where an argument can be settled with a “JK Rowling!” comeback. But then it’s not long before it's back to plain old stupid again.

Avoid.