Texas Chainsaw 3D
- Director: John Luessenhop
- Genre: Horror
- Cert: 18
- Details: US/ 91 mins
To date there have been seven movies in this franchise, with this latest entry inexplicably lobbing the word "Massacre" from its title. The 1974 original has stood the test of time as one of the greatest horror movies ever made, and its sequels, prequels and reboots have been noticeable only for their levels of awfulness. The 2003 Jessica Biel headliner was hollow yet passable, but the 1994 Matthew McConaughey / Renee Zellweger starrer was the benchmark for how terrible this franchise could get. "Was" being the operative word, as Texas Chainsaw 3D needs a new word created to properly describe how terrible it is.
Starting off right at the end of the 1974 movie, we find the locals have burned down the house of Leatherface and his family, believing them all to be killed. The lone survivor is a newborn baby girl, and she is taken away in secret and raised by a new family. Cut to the modern day, and girl Heather (Daddario) is all grown up and finds out that she has inherited a mansion from her real grandmother, and she heads to Texas to check it out. Along for the ride are her boyfriend (Songz), her best friend (Raymonde) and a hitchhiker they meet on the way (Scott, son of Clint, Eastwood). But once they get to the mansion, they discover that it's not exactly empty and blah blah blah... murders happen.
The ineptitude of this movie is absolutely staggering, and practically every aspect of it is beyond abhorrent. The acting, characterisation and dialogue are so-bad-its-funny in a way the Scary Movie franchise could only dream of. There is no real plot to speak of, and whenever there's even an inkling of hope that it might get good, the movie quickly runs in the opposite direction. In short, had this movie been released just five days earlier, it might've been the worst movie of 2012. Here's hoping we'll have all forgotten it ever existed by the time the Worst Of 2013 lists come around. In one word; awful.
Review by Rory Cashin | 15:33 | Wednesday 9th January 2013 | Movie Review
Sounds great, count me IN!Posted 13:07 | Fri 11th Jan 2013
This was with out a doubt the worst film I have ever seen. The plot was full of holes and ridiculous scenarios and the 3D was non-existent. Don't waste your money and 91 minutes of your life on this film.Posted 16:49 | Wed 23rd Jan 2013
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