Either Stay Alive is the best horror parody this side of Mel Brooks' Frankenstein or simply the worst movie ever made. If it is a parody, Stay Alive will fast become a cult classic, boasting some of the finest comic acting today as the actors play it straight throughout; never flinching once despite their boring cardboard caricatures spouting mundane lines as they stumble through the cringey, nonsensical plot twists. As an honest horror it misses any mark it tries to hit. Stay Alive lacks anything resembling a scare, any spookiness is removed since the all action happens during the day and most of the violence happens off screen. The story follows a group of dedicated gamers who stumble across an underground multi-player game called Stay Alive. When Miller (Goldberg) dies in the same fashion as he did in the game, the group - led by Hutch (Foster) - try to get to the root of the evil before it wipes out anyone who has played it. Writer-Director William Brent Bell must have thought he was onto a winner - games are huge, horror movies will always be huge, so let's merge the two and make a mint. "Okay, but what about the shoddy special effects?" No problem. We will use computer game graphics so the audience will see that the gaming and reality are merging. "Okay, but what about the nonsensical plot?" No problem. Ringu made a ton of money and so did Final Destination so we just throw them into a computer game, shoot what comes out and no one will notice. "What if they do?" They won't. "But what if they do?" Don't worry. Kids are stupid. They'll watch anything. "They're not that stupid" If you're in the mood for a laugh, Stay Alive will have you shooting the overpriced popcorn through your nose and all over the person who is sitting in front of you but just in case you miss it, never fear as Stay Alive 2, Stay Alive 3: Staying Alive and Stay Alive 4: Alive We Will Stay should be released in the next few weeks.
