Scary Movie 5
Director: Malcolm D. Lee
Actors: Ashley Tisdale and Kate Walsh
Release Date: Monday 30th November -0001
Genre(s): Factual
Running time: USA minutes
There is a sense of fear we have every time we go to see a scary movie; that feeling of trepidation and anxiety of the potentially horrific film we're about to watch. The same is true for every time we go to see a Scary Movie (of the Scary Movie franchise), but for entirely different reasons. It's been seven joyous years since the last entry in this defunct franchise, so director Malcolm D. Lee (of Undercover Brother and Soul Men "fame") has a lot of pillaging to do. Paranormal Activity, Mama, Insidious, Evil Dead and Sinister all get referenced, alongside non-horrors such as Inception, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, Black Swan and The Help. Then there's the bottom of the barrel nods to Honey Boo Boo Child, 50 Shades Of Grey, Tyler Perry and The Real Housewives Of Atlanta , all of which are mentioned because lowest common denominator says so.
There is a "plot", but let's not waste each other's time pretending it's important, or even relevant. The primary problem with the Scary Movie franchise is that the original was aping Scream, which itself was making fun of horror movies. Last year, Cabin In The Woods did something similar, showing up the tropes of the genre, while being funny AND scary AND, most importantly of all, smart. There are more fart and poop jokes in Scary Movie 5 than there are jokes about horror movies.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that this film is awful, but it is surprising that so many people all got together and decided it was good enough to make. This is a movie that cost $20 million to produce, and more again to promote. Someone needs to call the UN and report this as a war crime. Worse than last year's The Three Stooges or this year's Movie 43 - at least those two movies felt like they were actually TRYING to be funny - Scary Movie 5 is now neck and neck with Texas Chainsaw 3D for Worst Movie of 2013.
