Mirror Mirror

Had I not been informed by the credits, I'd be forgiven for not marking this technically unimpressive, perpetually smug fairytale down as a Tarsem joint. The visual master hasn’t always had a great grasp of character, but at the very least his aesthetics have always been stunning. Mirror Mirror doesn't just lack his visual panache, it actually looks awful - which is still the least of its worries.

A slight slant on the classic tale of Snow White and theSeven Dwarfs, this version see's Snow (Collins) locked up in her room by her self-obsessed step-mother (a grating Roberts), who has been ruling the roost of their once vibrant land since her father popped his clogs. After she's sent to woods to be murdered by Nathan Lane (hard to imagine... unless she's a song that is), Snow manages to escape and find a home amongst seven diminutive muggers in the forest. Somewhere along the road Armie Hammer's Prince Charming turns up, but is more foppish than heroic.

Mirror Mirror hasn't got a clue what kind of film it is; half the time it's a mediocre comedy, the other half bland, straight up fairytale and it never blends the two to cohesion. Roberts seems to be appearing in a different film to everyone else. She obviously had an inkling to make her Queen somewhat likeable, the resulting confusion resulting in a main villain who's more neurotic than dastardly. A good actress could've blended both, but Roberts never really seems arsed and it's a shame that the movie centres more on her indifferent monarch, and less on Lilly's sweet Snow White.

Maybe, somewhat aptly in some regards, Snow White is meant to feel artificial; but even on that malnourished limb it's hard to buy. The sets look very cramped, and there's nothing resembling scale. The budget really must've went on Roberts' wardrobe, because this whole thing feels like it was shot in someone's shed, doubling as a soundstage.

Even the otherwise unwatchable Immortals was stunning to look at, offering abrasive and inviting eyecandy whenever the story lulled; but Mirror MIrror is just plain inept.