Conan the Barbarian
Director: Marcus Nispel
Actors: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman
Release Date: Friday 26th August 2011
Genre(s): Action, Fantasy
Running time: 112 minutes
If you could sum up this remake in one word it'd probably be "carnage." This is a typically violent, sometimes ferocious but ultimately lacking 'swords and sandals' flick, that while executed with style, is at times completely nonsensical. Jason Momoa makes for a more athletic, less show pony looking Conan than Arnold Schwarzenegger, but it's hard to differentiate his titular character and the villains such is the simplicity of the revenge saturated plot.
As a young boy, Conan has his village attacked by Stephen Lang's evil warlord Khalar Zym, who kills his heroic aul' lad Corin (Perlman) - the proprietor of part of mask that he wants. Fifteen minutes in, Conan is all grown up into the imposing Momoa and he's all set to crack some canisters in the quest to avenge his father. Along the way he bumps into the beautiful Tamara (Nichols), a nun who is a direct descendant of the necromancers - the folk who built the mask that caused all this ruckus in the first place.
There's a certain, well, charm is the wrong word, and attraction seems a bit funny too, let's say element to Conan that is somewhat entertaining. It's pure brute force at times, which will surprise few given the source material and original film. It's just the characters are basically mannequins with voice boxes and the story is so mind-numbingly familiar you'll probably lose interest after twenty five minutes.
The scale, set design and cinematography are all extremely impressive, with director Nispel using his camera to sweeping effect. Dialogue is reduced to grunting, and the only real performance in the film is given by youngster Leo Howard, who impresses in the opening fifteen minutes as the young Conan.
Incoherent and messy, fanboys will enjoy the body count building as the film moves on, but this is generally poor stuff.
