- Cert: 15A
- Details: USA/91 mins
"I'm a reasonable man but this is getting out of hand." Irishman Kit Ryan's debut Botched kicks off competently enough: Stephen Dorff is in the French Riviera (or somewhere) and has just robbed an art collector's exhibition, making off with a suitcase of diamonds. He and his two accomplices triumphantly drive away, only to crash their getaway car into a wall. Dorff, the only survivor, scrambles clear, picks up the suitcase and hobbles away - only to get himself knocked down, sending the diamonds flying into the air. His boss, Russian hard case Sean Pertwee, ropes him into another, even tougher job in Moscow as punishment. What a gyp. That's all fine and well, but as the story goes on we learn that this was all wrong: Botched turns into a horror-comedy farce that sees Dorff, his new crew and their hostages chased around the abandoned 13th floor of a Russian television building by Ivan The Terrible's sword-wielding descendant. No kidding. You see, Botched was always a horror-comedy farce, a so-bad-it's-good-movie, but because Ryan's set up is all wrong, the movie falls on its ass. It takes an awfully long time for the viewer to realise what Ryan is doing and by that stage the bad jokes, that would have been funny if the set up was executed properly, are just bad jokes. That's not to say that Botched is never funny. As it goes on, and you snuggle into the idea that this is an 'anything goes' plot, the gags come out to play. History and a second viewing will be kinder to this film.
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