Baggage Claim

Montana (Paula Patton) is the bridesmaid at her mother's fifth (FIFTH!) wedding, and her mum is about to throw the bouquet, and everyone scarpers so that Montana and Montana alone can catch the bouquet, but wouldn't you know it… When her mother throws it, she throws it too high and it gets caught in a tree! Hilarious, right? No. No, Baggage Claim, that's NOT hilarious. This is the opening scene to a rom-com that douses modern feminism in gasoline and lights a match to it.

When Montana discovers that her younger sister is getting married, she makes it her life's goal to find a potential husband in the month leading up to the rehearsal dinner. So instead of trying to find a new man, she and her best friends Gail (Jill Scott, clichéd sassy best friend) and Sam (Adam Brody, clichéd sassy gay best friend) formulate a plan. As she is an air-stewardess, she'll find out when all of her ex's are flying on her airline, and she'll make sure she's on those flights, so she can bump into them and potentially fall in love with one them. Sounds flawless, right? Except for the fact that it's borderline stalker-y and the fact that she already broke up with these men for reasons that are never really touched upon.

Baggage Claim really is a rom-com in the same way that Hot Shots really is a war movie, except that Baggage Claim has no idea just how far into parody it has descended. It's almost as if the movie is self-aware, with dialogue like "This is a stupid idea", "Could this get any worse?" and "Why are you doing this to me?" almost filling in for the audience's internal dialogue.

If there is no hope for someone who looks like Paula Patton to find love, then really, what kind of chance to normal people have? To be fair, Patton does give it her all, reminiscent of a Jennifer Lopez with more acting talent and totally willing to make a fool of herself. Unfortunately, Baggage Claim is the kind of movie that even J-Lo wouldn't make anymore. And that's really the most damning criticism you could possibly give a film.