Alex Cross

Alex Cross is the prequel to the average (Kiss The Girls) and poor (Along Came A Spider) crime thrillers based on James Patterson's pulpy yet hugely popular novels that centre around the genius detective Doctor, Alex Cross - previously played by Morgan Freeman. Here he has been replaced by Tyler Perry, a man not known much outside of the States, but who over there is hugely popular for his cross-dressing comedies. An Irish equivalent of this would be replacing Liam Neeson in the prequel to Taken with, for example, Brendan O'Carroll.

Dr. Cross has been assigned to the case of serial killer who seems to be targeting the highest members of a huge multinational corporation, but instead of there being any real detective work or intrigue as to who the killer is, we're introduced to him right at the start of the movie. Matthew Fox (aka Jack from Lost) has gone all method for the role, looking like a penis that has been raised on a diet of nothing but horse steroids. His villain is so extremely over the top - he's a top marksman, master of espionage AND a world class MMA fighter - that you can smell the ham coming off the screen. To aid Cross on the hunt for the killer is his partner Edward Burns (remember him?) and their chief John C. McGinley (still basically playing Dr. Cox from Scrubs).

Director Rob Cohen has had, to put it lightly, a checkered history - The Fast & The Furious, xXx, Stealth, Daylight - but even when his movies were bad, they still managed to be at least mildly diverting. But with Alex Cross, he has broken new ground in just how bad a career can get. The acting is so terrible, the direction so stilted, the dialogue so cringe-worthy... It truly is the Showgirls of the crime-thriller genre. There is a possibility that years from now this will be a movie you'll put on after a few pints, and laugh along at it with your mates. But for now... Put it this way; a woman in the movie has her fingers cut off as a form of torture; I'd rather endure that than try to watch this again.