The Quiet Ones

Since its revival in 2008, Hammer Horror Studios hasn’t exactly been a benchmark for quality scary movies. For every Let Me In or The Woman In Black, there’s been a Wake Wood or The Resident. The Quiet Ones falls firmly in this latter, lacking category.

It all starts off well enough, as we’re shown around an English University circa 1975, where up-and-coming cameraman Brian (Sam Clafin) is hired by Professor Coupland (Jared Harris) to document his works with troubled young woman Jane (Olivia Cooke). Locked away in a darkened room, with loud music blared in to keep her awake, Coupland and his assistants Kristina (Erin Richards) and Harry (Rory Fleck-Byrne) try to rid Jane of a telekinetic power that is physically manifesting itself. Brian, and a lot of others who know her story, believe that she may in fact be haunted or possessed by a demon. So science and religion are about to scrap it out for a young girl’s soul, with the entire thing caught on camera.

Switching back and forth between the found-footage format (which is confusing, since the footage is never "lost") and conventional story-telling, The Quiet Ones takes absolutely no time in building its story, forsaking creeping dread and suspense in exchange for quick jump-shocks. There are one or two extended sequences that work - a black-out in a creepy attic is great, but stolen wholesale from Spanish horror [REC] - and Harris’ presence and performance gives the whole movie a touch of class, bringing some gravitas to proceedings much like Donald Pleasance did way back in Halloween.

But as far a good horror movie goes, it’s not that it’s bad, it’s just plain dull. You can tell when something scary is about to happen, because everything in the film goes quiet. Even then, it’s not necessarily scary, as more often than not it’s just a sudden loud noise accompanying something suddenly very close to the camera. That isn’t a horror film, that’s a ghost train ride, and we haven’t found those scary since we were six. Must try harder, Hammer!