Star Rating:

Machete Kills

Actors: Lady Gaga, Danny Trejo

Release Date: Monday 30th November -0001

Genre(s): Action

Running time: 107 minutes

Oftentimes you'll hear a director being asked "Why did you make this movie?" and their reply isusually something along the lines of "I just wanted to make that I, as a film fan, would want to see."And while that is a commendable reason for making a movie, in director Robert Rodriguez's case,that answer seems defiantly true. Despite the tepid box office response to 2010's Machete, he'sback with the sequel that nobody other than Rodriguez seemed to want, so you can either get onboard, or get out of the way. Machete don't care either way.

The plot involves Machete (Danny Trejo) being personally hired by the President Of The UnitedStates (Charlie Sheen, playing Charlie Sheen) to stop a crazy Mexican terrorist (Demian Bichir, theonly person having the appropriate amount of fun with his character) from dropping a nuke on toWashington. That SHOULD have been how complicated the story got, but instead there are entirelyunnecessary subplots and characters (all thankfully played by big, recognisable actors) that weighsdown on the fun we're meant to be having by making you try to pay attention.

It's in the movie's action scenes that Rodriguez gets to shine, and as the movie progresses, theyget more and more insane and OTT. When Machete punches a man in the stomach so hard thathe grabs his intestines and tosses them up into the whirling rotor of a helicopter, you'll either beclapping like a seal with delight or grabbing your stuff getting ready to leave the screen. Therein liesthe love/hate problem with Machete Kills; you're never entirely sure where the movie starts beingbad on purpose, and just becomes a bad movie, or if it’s ever entirely one or the other.

It’s at least 20 minutes too long - although as the sequel to a feature length version of a faketrailer, one could argue this franchise is already two movies too long - but thanks to the likes of MelGibson's super-villain camping it up, or Sofia Vergara and Amber Heard vamping it up, chances areyou won't mind too much. Or you’ll have already left, demanding a refund at the box office.