You can either ignore the horror that's happening in the world, or you could pull a Finchie Cova and pen an "OPEN LETTER TO ISIS" on your Facebook page less and watch snowball beyond all expectation.
In his very frank and colourful open letter, Finchie addresses ISIS adding Ireland to a list of countries called The Global Coalition and highlighting that Ireland is "Europe's Weakest Link", before chronicling a list of things they should know about us before infiltrating our shores. They include not leaving the immersion on, requesting that they "start with Leitrim", an indication where they won't locate virgins, and how upset we'll be if they disturb us during tonight's Toy Show. He also goes to great pains to highlight the general demeanour of us Irish: "First of all, lads were only here for the craic!"
So after the past few weeks of shite that's been floating around on Facebook iv tried to stay out of it. But I can't,...
Posted by Finchie Cova on Thursday, November 26, 2015
He continues: "What's this I hear about ye adding us to a list of countries called 'The Global Coalition' in some mad 80's themed propaganda video? Ah lads come on will ya, shtep down from 3 legged horse now for a second and rewind the cassette cuz I think ye got it wrong. First of all, lads were only here for the craic! We have been through too much sh**e hawking over the past couple of thousand years to be goin all 'rouge and sh*t' and joining in fights we clearly don't want to be part of. It's like when a fisht fight breaks out in primary school between Vince and Iano Kelly. Most of us just watch, shout a bit and kick a bin to make noise or whatever, but we don't bother getting involved (well Vince is English so any sly opportunity for a shneaky kick to the shins and were all over it) we couldn't be a**ed with the hole thing, we're simply too laid back."
Before his top ten list of do's and don'ts while in Ireland, Cova ads: "Don't even think about blowing up Leo Burdocks!!! Consider this your harshest warning! If any single pub is damaged during your short stay here, we will consider this an act of war!!! And we praise to our God Arthur, we will strike down on you with great vengeance and furious anger on those who attempt to destroy our drinking patterns during a time of crises!"
On a final note, remember these and you should be fine:
1. Offies close at ten
2. Don't leave the immersion on
3. PM me for Bono's address
4. Don't bomb shit when the toy show is on
5. Start with leitrim
6. If your looking for virgins you won't find any on Harcourt street
7. Get a Tesco clubcard. Trust me.
8. If you want to blow up a stadium, go to dalymount please.
9. Go to a water protest, they don't judge you for where your from, just if you pay or not.
10. Finally, if asked for change, eyes down and keep F*cking walking!"
The letter in full has been shared almost 13,000 times since it was posted yesterday and is continuing to rise.
