FIGHT LIKE APES

THE STORY SO FAR

OR

YOUR CODE NAME IS: DICK HEAD

So. We're packing our pants & jackets because a few days ago we found out that we are going to support the Ting Tings on their UK tour. How did we get here? Fuck knows. We're not going to ask too many questions in case someone realizes it was a big mistake or a practical joke.

Our first ever gig was on November 3rd 2006. Nobody clapped. Not even once. Not even by accident. Afterwards we found out that one person enjoyed the gig. He put us on in the Mezz in Dublin two days later. We did the gig and kept doing it every Monday for two months. He then asked could he manage us. We said yes. He then took a months Christmas holidays. He then had a meeting & took a months New Years holidays. He then got fired. When we went to fire him we found him lying in his bed at 7pm. He said he had been flat out all day - he wasn't lying. He was manager number 1 of 5. You know who you are. You're a dick head.

It was after this unfortunate parting of ways that we realized there was such a thing as a manager who was actually involved in the music industry. We met two of these people. We danced the dance for a while but unfortunately never dropped that hand in the end. These people are not dick heads. They helped us out a lot and we appreciate having worked with them.

Our first EP ‘How Am I Supposed To Kill You If You Have All The Guns?’ was recorded as demos in Hartstown with Lee Boylan. We never expected to release it, but we did. Shocked with how many people even cared that we'd released something, we started playing proper gigs around Ireland. Shortly after this we started going over and back to the UK whenever we got a chance. We wanted to make sure we concentrated on both places rather then just playing in Ireland twice a year until we or everyone else got bored. We slept in airports, we ate buckets of chicken, we drank White Ace, we puked in bins and we met some great people who we're still friends with today. One such person was Ellie from the label Fierce Panda/Cool for Cats who ended up releasing a limited run of ‘Jake Summers’ vinyl in the UK. She has a lovely smile and she glows also.

We did our first UK tour when this vinyl got released. It was an interesting tour. The best part of it being that we met the band Untitled Musical Project. They're at least twice as good as most bands. We came back from a challenging week on this tour to an amazing gig at the HWCH festival in Crawdaddy. It was around then we realized that people were clapping, some by accident, some not. We were at this point self-managed and went into our 2nd EP release, ‘David Carradine Is A Bounty Hunter Whos Robotic Arm Hates Your Crotch’the same way. We went through a couple of Uk booking agents around this time as well, none were really what we were looking for. It's hard to part with 10% of 50 euro when money's tight and they're booking gigs you could have done yourself. They had the best of intentions but it just wasn't for us.

The CMJ festival in New York was the first time we'd played outside of the Uk and Ireland. We all felt very small. Serious drop in the ocean. Not only were there 8 bands playing in our venue alone but there were probably about 1,000 gigs on in New York that same night.

Still, we ate well.

We came home from NY to our 2nd EP tour that we booked ourselves and which worked out pretty well. This included a gig in Whelans, Dublin gig, which was our favourite gig by a mile at that point. It sold out on the day which we weren't expecting.  A girl got kicked out for writing "I love FLA" on the wall. That was cool.

Enter: Manager Number 5.
Code Name: Mr. Scrambled Eggs.
Special talent: He's great. He gets up at 9, maybe even 8. He then goes to an actual office & proceeds to work for a living. He also actually manages the band, which is the major difference between him & Manager Number 1 (Code Name: Dick Head).

Mr Scrambled Eggs is really brave & strong. He makes us feel so safe. He wears glasses but this doesn't make him less attractive. He doesn't smoke, but that's not to say he minds if you have a cigarette around him.

Thanks to Mr Scrambled Eggs and Model Citizen Records we had an album to finish writing in January. So we went to a rehearsal studio for three full weeks and wrote new stuff including ‘I’m Beginning To Think You Prefer Beverly Hills 90210 To Me’ & ‘Recyclable Ass’.

One day, Jason Stollsteimer (Von Bondies) sent us a Myspace message, next thing we knew we're on a UK tour with them. We haven't realized until now just how important that tour was to us. We met so many people who have played a huge part in everything that's happened up until now, including the Von Bondies themselves who are wonderfully delightful people. We missed them after the tour ended.

We met up with the band again in Austin, Texas which added to the amazing week that was the South X Southwest music convention. In just one week we managed to play two gigs, watch about 50 bands, accidentally befriend a neo-nazi, have our first encounter with Los Campesinos & Johnny Foreigner & eat beef brisket from Stubbs. All in all, it was amazing. We also went to a snow-covered Toronto en route, that was less scary and much colder but definitely worth the trip.

The night before we left for Seattle to record our album we got to meet/play with one of our idols & biggest influences, Andy Falkous. Future of the Left headlined a show in The Village, Dublin and we supported them. It was amazing. They were amazing. Andy was cynical yet charming and we've played with them a couple of times since.

There's way too much to go into about Seattle, so we'll keep it brief. We befriended a lunatic who had befriended a mouse that he ended up gluing to a mud flap. We ended this friendship as we feared a similar fate. I would hate to get glued to a mud flap. We sampled the entire Subway menu and cleared them out of cookies almost every day, had a run in with a mobile meth lab (unintentionally, of course), and we also recorded an album called ‘Fight Like Apes And The Mystery Of The Golden Medallion’. That's why you're reading this by the way. You should totally listen to it. It's great. We fell in love with our producer John Goodmanson, he is now our honorary Uncle Dad. We continue to miss him everyday.

We got home from Seattle on May 15th. We have had approximately 11 days off since then. On the days we haven't had off weve played Glastonbury, T in the Park, Reading/Leeds, Oxegen, the We Are Scientists support tour, the Kasabian support tour (their fans did not like us. At all.), finished the album artwork, played some of our own shows & got booked for the Ting Tings support tour. On the days we did have off we visited castles, ate nachos, washed our feet & folded our street-clothes. We are going to have approximately four days off for the rest of our lives.

We don't mind though.
We're very excited.
Enjoy the album.

Except you, Dick head. Can I have my wallet back please?