2015 has been a record year, in our opinion for the worst excesses in films, whether it's unnecessary remakes or horrible, horrible filmmaking.
Becuase we're troopers and we live to serve, we've counted down the ten worst films of 2015. These films are so bad, they need to be loaded onto a NASA rocket and fired into the same black hole from Interstellar. They're all bad and everyone involved should feel terrible about what they did.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
It wasn't just that The Gallows scraped the bottom of the barrel. It's that it was scraping the bottom of the Found Footage Horror barrel. Friends, that barrel is used for medical waste and dog-s***. To get claw your way to the very bottom of that is an achievement in and of itself.
More like Jupiter ASS-ending. Just think, Eddie Redmayne won an Oscar for Theory of Everything the same year he made this. Never let it be said that fate doesn't have a sense of irony. Also, shout-out to Channing Tatum's costume, which was clearly inspired by John Candy's character in Spaceballs.
Also known as Sean Penn Takes His Shirt Off In Foreign Countries, The Gunman's the kind of film that Steven Seagal does nowadays to keep him in black hairdye. Why Sean Penn, Mark Rylance and Ray Winstone were involved in this is baffling? Money, probably. Oh and Javier Bardem, as well. He's better than this. They're all better than this.
In our review, we said that Fantastic Four was a failure, but a noble failure. We stand by that statement. It had such potential and Josh Trank is an inventive director that could have taken the series and comic-book movies in general in a completely new direction. Instead, we got a half-formed thing, broken and on the verge of death before it even reached the cinema. What a shame.
Kevin Hart features twice on this list, except in this entry, the interchangeable doofus this time around is Josh Gad and it's about... oh God, honestly, who cares. Something about weddings? No idea. It was bad. So bad, we can't honestly remember much about it.
M. Night Shyamalan basically hates old people and this film is evidence thus. Wasn't scary, wasn't funny. How some noted reviewers thought this was anything other than a grimly risible attempt by Shyamalan to make himself relevant again is beyond us.
Johnny Depp might have corrected the downward spiral of his career with Black Mass, but earlier in the year, he was headed straight for the toilet with Mortdecai, a painfully unfunny madcap "comedy" about an English gentleman that you wouldn't leave children alone with.
There was nothing hot about this absolute car-crash of a comedy with Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon. Much like the entry below, Hot Pursuit was riffing on a classic comedy that was far, FAR better. With Get Hard, it was Trading Places. This time around, it's Midnight Run. Except Midnight Run was never as bland, forgettable and beige as this. Reese Witherspoon, fire your agent because you have no business being in crap like this.
Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell explore the prison system in America with a bleak and unremitting focus on reality. No, actually, it's 100 minutes of rape jokes, homophobic setpieces and Alison Brie in her knickers for no good reason other than she looks decent in her knickers.
1. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
Are you surprised? We aren't. A film based on Twilight fan fiction was never going to win Oscars or wow audiences and critics alike, but at the same time, it should aim for something that's watchable. Fifty Shades of Grey wasn't watchable. Instead, it catered to... well, nobody. Fans of the book, most likely. But anyone who wanted a bit of trashy fun at the cinema didn't get it because the film took itself way too seriously. Anyone who wanted to see a decent, erotic thriller certainly didn't get because the two leads had zero chemistry together. Anyone looking for an examination of the BDSM lifestyle didn't get it because this is a warped version of what BDSM is. In short, the only people who got off on Fifty Shades of Grey are those who read the book and ACTUALLY liked it. And, honestly, they don't count as people.
