Jennifer Aniston: I'm in ANOTHER film! YAY meee! Sure, it's got an unfortunately apt title but I just feel so positive about things. I'm in something made for the BIG screen! Not the small screen in the corner of the living room! I kind've feel bad for Courtney and the rest of them but not that bad! And d'you know why else I look so happy I could pee my pants a little?! It's cause I look ROCKIN' bedside Scarlett Johansson... *whispers* Psst! Blanche and Dorothy are wondering where the cushions from their lanai have suddenly vanished to, if you know what I mean! *guffaws*

Jennifer Connolly: Jeeeez, 'Jennifer Two' sits on my tits. Why does she have to be so damn cheerful all the time? She has NOTHING to be chipper about! Here I am with the legs and the shoes and she still looks like she's about to pee herself with glee *sighs*.

Um, Kris Kristofferson?: *mumbles* "I may look like I've just wandered in, wondering where the free hooch is at, but I'm actually in this here movie. Yip, me and about 160 other folk..."

Bradley Cooper: "Hi, you don't know me, but I'm Bradley Cooper. I'm also in the film. I'm primed for a pose - what is your preference? I'll do anything as long as my face is in full view; I need people to become super familiar with the face."

Ben Affleck: "I'm just not that into this... Oscar winner, hello... Seriously, not that into it - IN-FIN-IT-Y."

Justin Long: "MAN this is awkward. She KEEPS looking at me. People think she broke up with me, BOY do they have it wrong. I even went so far as to ask the suit dude for something camouflage, you know, to blend so she wouldn't notice me - but this would only work if she happened to encounter me in a toilet bowel. On the upside, all those lingering love feelings girls get for guys once they sleep with them all dissipate when the ex-boyfriend in question turns up dressed as a turd. I'm might have to high five myself later when I'm not rigid with fear."

Drew Barrymore: "I'm SO glad he came dressed as Mr. Hanky. I TOTALLY don't fancy him anymore. He mustn't be too into me either considering he came dressed as poop. And there I went to all this trouble to create the illusion of liquified breasts dripping down my dress. Look at the left on go! Still, at least I didn't come dressed in an ode to Carmen Miranda...

Scarlett Johansson: "WHEEEE! I can carry off any hair colour known to man. Even this dodgy one which is usually favoured by the likes of Sharon Osbourne/rockers from the midlands in general. I'm HOT no matter WHAT - even wrapped in my nana's curtain. I can't wait to rush home and tell Ryan how lucky he is - and that I'm considering a Nana Mouskouri cover next... There's just NO stopping me - I can be obnoxious to the ears AND eyes and they'll STILL love meeee!