Diana 'The Claw, The Claw!' Vickers has released a single, and is "storming her way to the top of the charts this week." With the aid of whom? Who is buying it? Besides her management...
Charlie Brooker's 'The Invisibles' theory could be at work here (he believes that dark matter also exists in people; invisible consumers who are active fans of things that should've buggered off the planet a long time ago, like The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Emmerdale, Fry's Turkish Delight, Fisherman's Friends... anything else that incomprehensibly still exists)
Anyway, Claw Paw is relevant again for some unknown reason and therefore her thoughts are landing page news on some choice websites today:
Of the excruciatingly affectatious hook hand and barefoot ensemble, she said: "It's just something that used to come naturally when I got into the music (in front of millions of people on The X Factor). But I've been wearing heels on stage a lot more and trying to avoid the claw."
Of Jamie Oliver's Mini Me: "Eoghan was just like a holiday fling. He was my rock on the show but you leave it behind when you get home. You move on and make new friends. I wish him all the best but we haven't spoken at all since. I've got a new boy in my life. He's not famous but he is an aspiring actor. He makes me very happy."
Wow. I feel like life has totally changed since reading that. Thank you, Diana. Thank you... I'll stop short of shaking hands with that, if you don't mind. Ta.
