Variety Club Showbiz Awards Gallery

The 57th Variety Club Showbiz Awards took place last night at The Grosvenor House Hotel on London’s, Park Lane. For those that don't know anything about the awards (like me), they are the "UK's oldest children's charity for sick, disabled and disadvantaged children." And what better way to acknowledge sick kiddies than getting your arse out.

The one from The Saturdays who's going out with Dougie from McFly was so enamoured with Kimberly 'Pussy Cat Dolls' Wyatt's ability to say nothing of importance and yet be the sole focus at the world premiere of A Christmas Carol that she decided to borrow the "dress" and thus showcase her left arse cheek to the public.

Those who also attended last night's bash include Angela Griffin (that new chatshow of hers seems to be aging her); Spandau Ballet with their other halves; Pixie 'I love award thingies, I do' Lott; Kelly Brook;Patrick 'it's too late, Frankie, I've seen everything' Stewart; some Strictly Come Dancing rejects (see, Christina has the ability to smile like your average human, when she loosens up a bit), along with judge Alesha Dixon - who appeared to be rather uncomfortable in her get up: "OK, I'M A LITTLE TEAPOTSHORTANDSTOUT…MAN this fing is hell to breeve in... HHHIIIIINNG!"

Once inside, however, Alesha seemed to find a balance, breathing air from a higher plane as it's known to be thinner. That's not all that happened inside: Spandau Ballet gleefully swapped their wives for The Saturdays; Kelly Brook scarfed some cake and quaffed some tea; while Justin Lee Collins did his usual shtick of smothering Alan Carr.

Speaking of Justin, he seemed far more relaxed last night, if a little bleary-eyed, in comparison to the bash he attended in Belfast on Friday. Maybe he was a little freaked as he was being lumped in with the likes of Noirin off Big Brother and Laura 'I'm from last year's X Factor, pleeeeease remember me?!' White. Or perhaps he was slightly unnerved that the soiree was being held on Friday the 13th in Europe's most bombed hotel - and then Amanda Brunker  appeared, looking like she was smuggling a geansai load of Semtex... Sweet. Divine. Jaysis.