Some Words From... Victoria Beckham...

Of keeping herself occupied while David's off kicking a ball about, she said:

"I've done Nip/Tuck, Brothers & Sisters, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice. Then I got into Gossip Girl. I'm beyond obsessed with that show."

That's nice, Victoria, now let's address your roasted kumquatisness. Correct, I'd never devote an entire gossip piece to just one line you mumbled a while back. It was just a ruse to post these photos of you blending in perfectly with your ensemble which, correct me if I'm wrong, is a magnified depiction of a heart valve funneling chloesterol-riddled blood, with a dangerously high mercury level. . Also, get busy with the h'dourves, woman. The malnourished jerky look is quite frightening.

Right, if you insist upon only mumbling about your love of Gossip Girl, perhaps you might pull young Taylor Momsen aside, you know, to see if you can wrap something around her crotch other then a guitar... Perhaps there is a direct correlation between the success of a female artist and her willingness to perform in her pants. In which case, best step away Victoria, lest you want one of your telly idols to chase you and your solo career around a tray of burgers.

What? If pants equate success, Victoria Beckham is the equivalent of the boiler suit shaped black plague.