Ronnie Wood - Streetfighter: The Sordid Details

This week's second raging Woody, that being Ronnie, wasn't just slapping Ekaterina about a bit in the middle of a street - he managed to squeeze in a spot of strangulation too.Thorough.

The Sun reports: "Witnesses claimed they saw him 'choking' waif-like waitress Ekaterina while dragging her screaming along a pavement. Cops are investigating claims the guitarist hovered drunkenly over the terrified beauty with his cigarette inches from her face during a 30-minute fracas. Ekaterina - said to have been dragged 20ft by the collar of her blouse and jacket - suffered knee injuries near the pair's Surrey home on Wednesday night. Her tights had been ripped. Witness Celine Dixon said: 'We heard a woman screaming, then saw a man pinning her to the ground. He was shouting at her then we heard choking sounds so my boyfriend rushed out to help. When he got outside he saw it was Ronnie and Ekaterina.'"

Surprise! An aging egomaniac being abusive to someone who, for all intent and purposes, let themselves become dependent.

"Here comes the best bit" alert. The Staines police report that "Ekaterina was very distressed and had cuts on her knees from where it seems she'd been dragged along the street. But she was insistent she didn't want police involved or to press charges."

NAAARGH, why not?! Oh, because she "made" him do it, probably. Or, what's that other gem - ah yes - she was "asking" for it. Poor, poor manipulated soul. Only the truly frightened would refuse to press charges - but what, exactly, is she frightened of? Is she scared of a spindly old bag of bones? Or who she feels she'll be without him? Most likely the latter. You need to stand on yer own two feet, missus, and realise - essentially - you're not dependent on anyone. Oh, and if you think you're in love, get over that feeble excuse-like notion pronto.

All is not lost, however: "Despite her refusal (to press charges), witnesses allege this was a potentially serious assault and he may face charges in any case once the evidence is assessed. We're looking at allegations that at one point he had her by the scruff of the neck and her collar was so tight she seemed to be choking."

Hmmmm. Rent paid and picture in papers in exchange for geriatric nookie, half-bladdered sentiments and the odd smidge of abuse, or a life out of the spotlight which might even contain a regular job?

It's a toughie.