Photos from The Oscar After Show Parties

A number of photos from the After Show Parties have started streaming in and what a baptacular bunch they are. Heeeelleeeeeeeew Hilary Swank...'s arse crack. Still not quite over playing a very convincing boy, I see. Also in attendance at Vanity Fair's soiree was Anjelica Huston, Carolina Herrera, Diane Von Furstenburg, Anna Paquin, Amy Adams' baby bump, Maria Bello's stripper heels, Patricia Clarkson's sheer class; Seinfeld and Leno having a chin off; and a rather peeky looking Natalie Portman. Mr. and Mrs Lopez pryed themselves from their ceremony ware, instead opting for something slightly more understated. The most eyecatching (literally) ensemble of the night, however, must go to the pioneer of shoulder pads (in case you dared to forget) - Joan Collins. Not only did she sport a mansized accessory, she also managed to house too marquees on her shoulders for the overflow crowd.

Meanwhile, over at Elton John's after show shindig, we have such esteemed stars as Katie Price continuing the blue theme (which sadly didn't stretch to her shoes); two Osbournes; Salma Hayek who's not sure if she's in the right place; Dionne from Clueless; Dumpy McStumpy; Christina 'I WISH people would stop talking about my curves!' Hendrik; Michelle Rodriguez; Jennifer Hudson; Lea Michele; Hayden Pannetiere; Milla Jovovich; Victoria Beckham; Miley Cyrus's hunchy shoulders; Simon Cowell's soon-to-be missus; some haidresser; and KD Lang putting in a massive effort.

As for Alan Cumming... The facial expression on the lady to the left's face says it all. The only option when faced with such horror is to enforce an out of body episode.