Mika Talks About Murdering Someone (Emotionally)

They really don't get much more irritating than warbling chubby chaser Mika. Hey, I'm sure his mother loves him and doesn't kick old people, but the man's incessant giddiness is beyond grating and his music is akin to waterboarding for the ears.

Anyhow, he has a new single out, so he's been talking to the press about how he killed someone. Hold your gasps people, he means "emotionally". Having recently come out of the closet (Ray Charles could've seen that coming), he embarked on, an obviously epic, love affair with an unnamed chap - but needless to say it didn't end well: "I emotionally killed a man," he told The Times "It was three weeks ago. It's complicated. Suffice to say that I am now a murderer." *Insert various gags about him murdering music here.

If that already wasn't too much information, he went on to talk about where he gets the inspiration for some of his hit choons the kids love so damn much. He apparently penned the perennially happy 'Love Today' after getting laid. "It came to me, fully formed, after the first time I had sleepy with someone and actually loved it." Had sleepy? Has this unnamed person now been charged with statutory rape? I'm assuming he wrote "Big Girls You Are Beautiful" after a particularly pleasant visit to KFC.
 

His new single Rain is Mika going "dark." If clowns could sing and cry and the same time, it'd sound something like that.

Mike Sheridan